the cutting room mirror

Chapter 5

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This is a sub-page of Proto:Shining Force II.

Story#

Granseal Field#

After leaving Galam, the group is stopped by Galam forces outside the town's gate.

April Script

Who allowed you to leave
Galam?

June Script

How did   you get past the
Galam guards?

Final Script

How did you get past the
Galam guards?

April Script

Everybody is forbidden to
go out 'till we conquet
Granseal!

Final Script

No one is allowed to leave
'til we conquer Granseal!

April Script

Yes, I know...ah...
but...King Galam...
left his belonging!

Final Script

I know...ah...but...
King Galam...left this
behind.

April Script

You going to deliver them?
But, I haven't been given
any orders about this.

June Script

And you want to bring it to
him? Hmmmm. I dont' know....

Final Script

And you want to bring it to
him? Hmmmm. I don't know....

Another Galam Soldier walks onscreen.

April Script

What going on here?

Final Script

What's going on here?

April Script

They're want to deliver a
package to the King Galam.

Final Script

They want to deliver a
package to the King.

The Galam Soldier points out that King Galam hasn't rescinded his orders yet.

April Script

I'm go get the package
from them now.

Final Script

I'll get the package from
them.

April Script

I think we're trouble!

Final Script

I think we're in trouble!

The soldier approaches Bowie and Slade, and quickly realizes who they are. Seems that Galam soldiers are smarter than the ones in Granseal who fell for the whole "fake package" thing.

April Script

Hey! Granseal spies are
here! Hey!

Final Script

Hey, these are the Granseal
spies!

April Script

Oops! We failed!

Final Script

Oops! That didn't work!

Luckily, the force is better at fighting than deceiving, so they make quick work of their foes.

Granseal#

Galam forces have already made their way through the town, leaving Granseal soldiers in their wake. Bowie looks in the town's jar depository and sees that one of the zoo's animals, a turtle-looking thing, has escaped. And he's terrified.

April Script

He is shivering.
Do you speak to him?

Final Script

He is shivering.
Will you name him?

After naming the turtle-thing (hereafter referred to as Kiwi), he agrees to join the force!

Granseal Castle#

Making their way past the ironclad corpses, the force encounters Astral talking to an obviously distraught Lemon, who won't let him pass through. Astral asks as to where King Galam is.

April Script

He went into the tower,
Ground Seal, right?
Shut up!
I have to go!

June Script

He went into the tower,
Ground Seal, right?
Be quiet!
I have to go!

Final Script

He went into the tower,
Ground Seal, right?
Then, I must go there!

April Script

Please do not move,
Or I have to defeat
you! Please!

Final Script

Please don't move, or I'll
have to kill you! Please!

Astral asks Lemon to calm down, saying that he must have figured it out what's happened already.

April Script

We did harm to Galam?
The King said so? If
it's true, we apologize!
But do you still
believe it true?
Then why did he...

Final Script

We didn't attack Galam.
Your King lied!
We are allies.
Do you believe me?
We would never...

Translation Notes
Astral is more forceful in the final English script.

Lemon refuses to believe this.

April Script

You have to accept
the truth.
Your master is
possessed by a devil.
He is not King Galam!

Final Script

You have to believe me.
Your King is possessed
by a devil.
He is not King Galam!

April Script

....!....

Final Script

No!....

Princess Elis screams from the top of the stairs! This is enough to provoke Astral to try to shove past Lemon.

April Script

Stop, Sir!
I can't pass you!

Final Script

Stop, sir!
I can't let you pass!

Astral suggests that Lemon come with him, then. Lemon nods, and leads Astral to the tower. Astral tells the force to come along too.

The King and the Minister tag along with the gang, wanting to rescue Princess Elis and having nothing better to do, what with the war and all.

Ancient Tower#

The force make their way to the massive central room of the Ancient Tower, where Astral and a freshly possessed King Galam square off. The Princess is held hostage behind the evil King. Galam sees King Granseal at the room's entrance.

April Script

Give up now, King Granseal!
Do you want anothervict
im?

Final Script

Give up now, King Granseal!
Do you want here to die?!

Astral and Galam talk some more trash, then they start charging into each other. They both fall over. Princess Elis tries to get away, but some of Galam's new, more demonic forces pop out of the ground. King Galam commands them to eat up the force(?!) before they get any closer.

The demons are no longer hungry. They're dead. Astral gets up and tries to get Princess Elis back, but King Galam gets up as well! The King and Minister approach Galam.

April Script

Stay there! Or you'll
lose your beautiful
princess forever!

Final Script

Stay there! Or she'll die!

King Granseal demands that Galam leave the princess alone.

April Script

Princess Elis...I'll save
you! Believe me!

Final Script

Princess Elis...I'll save
you!

No you won't. King Galam knocks both of them down with two fireballs.

April Script

Father, father!

Final Script

Father!

Astral asks what's in this tower, anyway. King Galam, having had enough of this chicanery, says he's going to open the door to the "Evil World", raising the Jewel of Evil up.
A giant hole opens up from the ceiling, and two clear tubes of light emerge and envelop the Princess and King Galam. The tubes start to rise up towards the Evil World's new entrance.''
In the smartest plan ever, Astral and the Minister throw Bowie towards the tube carrying King Galam. Bowie attempts to get the Jewel of Evil off of Galam.
''

April Script

Wow! Bowie's brave.

Final Script

Wow! He's so brave. Hmmm...

Bowie successfully steals the Jewel of Evil, which quickly fuses with the Jewel of Light. He loses his grips and falls off, and it's too late for the Princess. She's swallowed by the abyss.

April Script

Father....
[Hero]...help....

Final Script

Father...
[Hero]...help meeeeee!

King Galam, who's none too pleased by having his jewel stolen from him, falls in as well. Astral wonders why Bowie now has two jewels around his neck.

April Script

[Hero] explains
the reason why he has two
jewels around his neck

Final Script

[Hero] explains
what happened.

Astral wonders whether the two jewels could solve this. Not for long though, because the entire tower begins to shake violently.

April Script

Wow! It getting worse!

Final Script

Wow! It's getting worse!

April Script

SSSSSir Astral!
What should we do?!

Final Script

Sssiirrr Astral!
What should we do?!

Astral says to leave, obviously, and they'll come back with soldiers later to get Princess Elis. Poor King Granseal won't budge and has to be carried out of the room.

Granseal#

Making their way through a quaking Granseal Castle, the party encounters the two soldiers guarding Granseal Castle.

April Script

King! Sir Astral!
Are you all right?

Final Script

Your majesty! Sir Astral!
Are you alright?

Astral asks why they're still here, and the soldiers say there's a ship in the harbor waiting for them. And also that giant chasms are appearing all over town. Then a giant chasm appears right under them. Ouch, man.''
They quickly board the ship at the harbor.
''

April Script

King! Sir Astral!
Glad to see you again.

Final Script

Sire! Sir Astral!
Glad to see you again.

The old man asks if they're ready to leave. Astral and Bowie agree, not waiting to fall into any ironic chasms.

April Script

Leave the port!

Final Script

Weigh anchor!

The Minister asks where they're headed.

April Script

That earthquake
must caused damage
all over the island.

Final Script

This earthquake must
have caused damaged all
over the island.

Astral thinks, then decides to head east to the mainland. The King objects, saying they have to rescue Elis, but Astral informs him that it's too dangerous to stay here, what with the chasms and all.''
The ship leaves to the east. The entire town of Granseal and its rich history are enveloped by a massive canyon, leaving the Ancient Tower the only structure left standing.
''

That Sega Guide isn't going to help you now, kid.

Area Dialogue#

Galam Castle#

An old man in Galam's throne room is fiercely loyal to his King.

April Script

When the errand died, the
king suddenly suffered
great deal of pain.
Thank goodness, he
recovered after while.
It must be an artifact
of Granseal!
I believe in my King!

Final Script

When the messenger was
found dead, the king suffured a
great deal of pain.
Thank goodness, he
recovered quickly.
It's Granseals fault!
I believe in my King!

Translation Notes
The typos of "suffured" and "Granseals" are present in both the June and final scripts.

The castle's treasure guard is good at his job.

April Script

This is the treasure
rrrroom! Defeat mmme
iiif you want to go iiin.

Final Script

This is the treasure room!
You may not pass!

Translation Notes
This guy was changed from some kind of demon man to a regular soldier. Why? Who knows?

More castles means more books.

April Script

A book...
SOLDIERS, SOLDIERS

Final Script

A book...
SOLDIERS, SOLDIERS

Galam#

A teen wonders about the Galam army's leave.

April Script

Where are they going?
To Granseal?
No way! We have a
friendship!

Final Script

Where are they going?
To Granseal?
No way! We are allies!

A different, tree-hidden teenager lost about 50 IQ points between scripts.

April Script

Sometimes there are hidden
short-cuts like this.

Final Script

I like trees!!

Translation Notes
This is the first of the English translators' attempts to inject more humor into the script.

A shopkeeper takes interest in Bowie's newly acquired jewel (no success in removing it, though)

April Script

Why, you're wearing a
beautiful jewel! Wow!
Sell it to me!

Final Script

Why, you're wearing a
beautiful jewel! Wow!
Give it to me!

One of the guards by the town's drawbridge tells Bowie about the King's orders.

April Script

Are you a new here?
I've never seen you before.
Anyway, don't go out of
town. King ordered us to
kill anyone who goes
out today.

Final Script

Are you new here?
I've never seen you before.
Anyway, don't leave town.
The King ordered us to stop
anybody who tries to leave.

Yeel#

Yeel, the tertiary town, refuses to help either Galam or Granseal with their war.

April Script

They say that Galam
and Granseal finallystart the w
ar!
I love the peace.
I love Yeel!

Final Script

They say that Galam and
Granseal are at war!
I love peace.
I love Yeel!

April Script

A war always takes
place suddenly.
But we're out of it.

Final Script

A war always takes place
so suddenly.
But we're neutral.

April Script

Yeel never joins
in a war. This is
our regulation.
This village is for
fugitives from war.

Final Script

Yeel remains neutral.
We are pacifists.
Fugitives from war come
here to live in peace.

Granseal#

Most of the town's residents are in their houses, waiting this thing out.

April Script

Galam soldiers
all rushed into the
castle. When do
they come out
again?

Final Script

Galam soldiers rushed into
the castle. What's going
on?

A few curious ones look into the castle gates.

April Script

It has been so quiet
since they forced
into the palace.

Final Script

It has been so quiet since
they forced their way into
the castle.

Granseal Castle#

Princess Elis is taken away, to the shock of those who witnessed it.

April Script

It must be a
nightmare.

Final Script

This is a nightmare.

April Script

...Princess was taken
away....but I'm
paralyzed with terror.

Final Script

The Princess was taken
away...and I'm paralyzed
with fear.

(Source: Original TCRF research)