the cutting room mirror

Chapter 12

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This is a sub-page of Proto:Shining Force II.

Story#

Hassan#

The freshly-promoted Bowie & Peter (who's much more colorful now) head back to Hassan. There's a new centaur in town.

April Script

You are the boy who killed
the legendary Kraken?

Final Script

Are you the boy who killed
the legendary Kraken?

Rick thanks Peter & Bowie for letting him get to Hassan, dull as it is. He looks north of the town and spots something.

April Script

It's Caravan...an
ancient vehicle found
in the shrine.

Final Script

It's the Caravan...an ancient
vehicle found in the shrine.

Rick is impressed that they found it, and decides to go with them, because he's bored, basically. Rick joins the force!

April Script

Adventure!
Yoo ho!
Let's go!

Final Script

Adventure!
Yo ho!
Let's go!

Dwarven Mine#

Nowhere to go but west, the newly-acquired Caravan is used to navigate the rocky rivers that separates Creed's Mansion from the other towns. Along the way is a mine run by less than seven dwarves.

April Script

(shiver)...too cold....
oh, it's cold here....

Final Script

(Shiver)...cold...
Oh...I'm so cold...

The dwarves can't finish mining without this sick guy.

April Script

One of us went to look
for the fairy.
Is he all right?

Final Script

One of us went to look for
the fairy.
I hope he's alright.

Harpy Pond#

Heading farther west, the crew arrive at a mountain impasse. Oddler hears a voice crying for help from a nearby pond.''
The force goes to investigate...
''

April Script

An...Elf boy?
He's stuck in the pond.
He must very tired.
Let's pull him out.

Final Script

An...elven boy?
He's stuck in the pond.
He must be very tired.
Let's pull him out.

Bowie approaches the elven lad.

April Script

Did you come to help me.
Oh, thank you!
Perhaps, I would've been
eaten by monsters if you
didn't save me.

Final Script

Did you come to help me?
Oh, thank you!
I might have been eaten by
monsters if you hadn't come.

April Script

I dinner escaped!

Final Script

My dinner is escaping!

April Script

Who's there?

Final Script

Who said that?

Harpy said that. Seriously Peter, put your glasses back on. This is become a recurring problem.

April Script

That pond is my trap to
get food. Hey Elf, a good
trap, huh?
Those who get stuck in
the pond are mind. It's
the rule around here.

Final Script

That pond catches my food.
Hey elf boy, good trap, huh?
Those who get stuck in the
pond are mine. It's my
rule.

April Script

Then...all the missing
people were eaten by you?

Final Script

Then, all the missing people
were eaten by you?

April Script

I ate them because they
were in my pond.

Final Script

They were in my pond.

April Script

And the Elf is my dinner
for today. Got it?

Final Script

And this elf is my dinner
for tonight. Got it?

The harpy turns to her entourage.

April Script

[Hero], we have to
save him!

June Script

[Hero], we have to
save him!

Final Script

Did you guys bring the
ketchup? No? Oh, well.

Translation Notes
The original Japanese line was spoken by the head Harpy.
The line from the April and June drafts is a duplicate line: This is what Peter says when trying to leave the area.
The final script just wings it with the ketchup line.

After defeating the Harpies (and having the common courtesy not to eat an intelligent creature), Elric is freed from the pond.

April Script

You saved my life.
Thank you very much.

Final Script

You saved my life.
Thank you.

April Script

You should thank Oddler.
He heard your cries of help
and brought us here.

Final Script

You should thank Oddler.
He heard your cry of help
and brought us here.

April Script

Ah, well...it was nothing.

Final Script

Oh well, it was nothing.

April Script

A Forest Elf always returns
a kindness with himself.
Please, let me help you on
your adventure.

Final Script

An elf always returns a
favor.
Please, let me help you.

April Script

[Hero], looks like
we've found a new friend.

Final Script

[Hero], looks like
we've found another friend.

Elric befriends the force! Also he joins.

April Script

Now, let's go see Creed!

Final Script

Now, let's go see Mr. Creed!

Outside the pond, Elric faces the mountain that blocked all progress.

April Script

Fairy said...move this
rock in this manner and...

Final Script

Fairy said, move this rock
in this manner, and...

The mountain splits in twain, revealing a large chamber leading right to Creed's front lawn.

Creed Field#

A spooky skeleton and his spooky skeleton crew guard the entrance to Creed's Mansion.

April Script

(Sniff, snif)...we have
more invaders from the
continent....

Final Script

(Sniff, sniff)...I smell
more invaders from the east.

This is Creed's territory, the skeleton says.

April Script

He never sees anyone.

Final Script

Go away!

April Script

But I have to meet with him.
Please let us go in!

Final Script

But we have to see him.
Please let us pass!

April Script

No! Now leave!

Final Script

No! Leave now!

The Skeleton summons more of his monster pals.

April Script

Or I'll throw you out!

Final Script

Never mind. Get 'em boys!

And with Bowie's blade, the boys are thusly gotten.

April Script

Hurry. Let's go to Creed
Mansion.

Final Script

Hurry! Let's go into
Creed's Mansion.

April Script

Oddler...can you see?

Final Script

Oddler, can you see?

April Script

No...why?

Final Script

No, why?

April Script

Well, you're running as
if you recovered your
sight.

Final Script

You're moving around as
if you can see.

April Script

Am I? Maybe my other
senses have sharpened
after I lost my sight.

Final Script

Am I? Maybe my other
senses have sharpened
since I lost my sight.

Peter sees now. Oddler confirmed not to see now.

April Script

[Hero], Creed is
at home!

Final Script

[Hero], let's go see
Mr. Creed!

Creed's Mansion#

As Bowie & company exit the foyer, they hear conversation off-screen.

April Script

You may go in now.
I'll talk to fairy.

Final Script

You may go now.
I need to talk to fairy.

A sailor-butler hybrid enters the waiting room.

April Script

Huh? Oh....
It's time to check the
collections.

Final Script

Tum-de-dum-dum. Oh...
Time to check the
collections.

The servant, Goliath, unlocks a door to the left of the main door.

April Script

Excuse me....

Final Script

Excuse me.

The startled sailor turns to Peter.

April Script

We came to see Mr. Creed.

Final Script

We've come to see Mr. Creed.

April Script

See my master?
Do you have an
appointment?

Final Script

My master?
Do you have an appointment?

April Script

Appo...?

Final Script

A what?

April Script

I'm sorry, but he has
a guest now.
Please come back later.

Final Script

I'm sorry, but he's busy now.
Please come back later.

Peter convenes with Bowie and Oddler.

April Script

We can't see Creed now.

Final Script

We can't see Mr. Creed now.

Oddler suggests forcing their way in.

April Script

Oddler...you're getting
bold....
But it's a good idea.

Final Script

Oddler, you're getting bold.
But, it is a good idea.

April Script

Now, let's go!

Final Script

Let's go!

As the crew runs to the main entrance, Goliath teleports in to block them!

April Script

You impolite children!
You can't go in!
Mr. Creed will never see
you. Go away!

Final Script

You impolite kids!
You can't go in!
Mr. Creed is too busy!
Go away!

Peter eyes the now unlocked door on the left.

April Script

Let's ditch this servant
and go through that door.

Final Script

Let's ditch this guy and go
through that door.

April Script

[Hero], let's
do it! I don't want to
return now!

Final Script

[Hero], let's do it!
I don't want to fail now!

Bowie nods.

April Script

OK, OK. We give up.
We can't meet Mr. Creed.
Let's get out of here.

Final Script

OK, OK. We give up.
We'll see Mr. Creed later.
Let's get out of here.

April Script

Yeah, maybe we'll come
back later.

Final Script

Yeah, maybe later.

Bowie approaches the unlocked door, against the servant's warning...

April Script

...What stupid kids!

Final Script

What stupid kids!

...and shrink to tiny specks on the floor.

April Script

Whoever passes through that
  magic door will become
small.
Anybody who is not
protected by Mr. Creed.

Final Script

Whoever passes through this
magic door becomes small.
That is, anybody who's not
protected by Mr. Creed.

Goliath picks up the force -- every single member -- and places them on a nearby desktop.

Desktop Kingdom#

April Script

Well, what happened to us?
I had a strange feeling
when I entered the door.
Then, it felt like...a giant
lifted me up!

Final Script

What happened?
A strange feeling swept over
me when I entered that door.
Then, it felt like...I was
lifted upward!

Peter can't explain it in detail, but somehow they've become small. Goliath confirms his suspicions.

April Script

Servant!

Final Script

Goliath!

April Script

I said, go back.
You didn't listen to my
advice.

Final Script

I told you not to go in
there. You didn't listen
to my warning.

After one last bit of mockery, Goliath exits the room. Peter tells Bowie to cheer up.

April Script

I agree! We can meet
Creed some other time.

Final Script

I agree! We can meet Creed
later.

Since this is a kingdom, Bowie makes the king's acquaintance.

April Script

So you were not able to
see Creed?
Somewhere in the Floor
World, there's a tunnel
to Creed.

Final Script

So, you were not able to see
Creed?
Somewhere in Floor World,
there's a tunnel that leads
to Creed.

The King promises to reveal this tunnel to Bowie if he defeat his Chessboard Army.

[1. f3 e5 2. g4 Qh4#] later...

April Script

Wonderful!
This is for you.

Final Script

Checkmate!
This is for you.

A large chest with a Cotton Balloon has appeared in the middle of the chessboard through chess magic.

April Script

With it you can leave
Desktop safely.
Good luck!

Final Script

With it you can leave
Desktop Kingdom safely.
Good luck!

Floor World#

With the Cotton Balloon, which looks more like a spore, the force safely lands in Floor World.

April Script

Cotton Balloon has popped.

Final Script

The Cotton Balloon popped.

Spotting a hole in the wall, Bowie and the others amble through to somewhere much more earthy.

April Script

(Sniff, snif)...it smells
like a ditch!

Final Script

(Sniff, sniff)...
It smells like a ditch!

Peter wonders if it's the smell of devils. Pan over to giant rats! Well, normal-sized rats. Pink and blue normal-sized rats!!

April Script

Hee, hee! Did you call me?

Final Script

Hee, hee!

The rats do a little dance. It's quite engaging.

April Script

What a huge rat!

Final Script

What huge rats!

April Script

I welcome you, silly chicken.
It's dinner time!

Final Script

Welcome!
It's dinner time!

The rats are punished for trying to expand their culinary palate. Stop trying to eat Bowie and Peter, guys.

And then, after much travel, the force finally reaches Creed...'s floor.

Creed's Mansion (Again)#

Creed, a devil with a majestic mane, yells out for his servant.

April Script

I'm here! I'm coming now!

Final Script

I'm here! I'm coming!

Creed noticed that his collection is noisy today. Goliath fidgets.

April Script

No, nothing...I have added
to your collection today.

Final Script

No, I...I added to your
collection today.

April Script

Without my order?!

Final Script

You did what?!

Goliath tried to stop them.

April Script

You didn't lock the door,
did you?
I said, always lock the magic
door!

Final Script

You didn't lock the door, did
you?
I told you to always lock
that door!

Calming down for a moment, Creed asks to see the new additions.

April Script

Just a minute!

Final Script

Right away, sir!

After the poor servant leaves, Creed is alerted to the sound of tiny talking people.

April Script

Oh, my collection is
talking!
You don't know me?
Are you collection or not?

Final Script

Oh, someone from my
collection is talking!
You must be one of the people
Goliath was talking about.

April Script

We came to see you, Creed.
Please return us to our
original size, first!

Final Script

We came to see you.
Please return us to our
original size.

April Script

To see me?

Final Script

You came to see me?

April Script

Make us bigger, now!
My neck hurts!

Final Script

Make us bigger. My neck
hurts from looking up at you!

Creed casts the antediluvian Abra-Kadabra spell, restoring the party to their original size.

April Script

Wow, we're back!

Final Script

Wow, we're back to normal!

April Script

Now, why do you want to
see me?

Final Script

Now, why did you want to see
me?

April Script

Oh, yes!
Tell us about Zeon!

Final Script

Oh, yes!
We want to know about Zeon!

Zeon's name alerts the Fairy guest in the mansion.

April Script

The devil king who was
sealed in Arc Valley?

Final Script

The King of the Devils who is
sealed in Arc Valley?

April Script

What's happening with
Zeon? Has he revived?

Final Script

Did something happen to
Zeon? Has he revived?

Bowie nods. The Fairy exclaims her disbelief!

April Script

Noisy fairy!
Shut-up!

Final Script

Noisy fairy!
Be quiet!

April Script

Is it true?

Final Script

Is what you say true?

Bowie nods yet again.

April Script

So, Zeon appeared again...
He will destroy all that
is on the ground.

Final Script

So, Zeon will appear again...
He will destroy everything.

Translation Notes
The April draft is more accurate to the game's plot, and with King Bedoe's description of Zeon.

The servant races back from the collection room.

April Script

The new additions to your
collection are missing!

Final Script

Sir, the new additions to
your collection are missing!

Creed already knows, of course.

April Script

What did you say?

Final Script

How...?

April Script

I said I know it!
Now, go away!

Final Script

It doesn't matter how!
Now, go away!

April Script

We were just talking
about that.

Final Script

Wow! I can't believe this
is happening!

April Script

You know, Grans Island
has been under a dark
cloud.

Final Script

You know, Grans Island is
covered by a dark cloud.

''North Parmecia has had no rain, but South Parmecia is okay...

April Script

That's because of God
  Volcanon.
I'm afraid about what
happened to Mitula.

Final Script

That's because of Volcanon.
I fear for Mitula....

April Script

Volcanon and Mitula are
invincible to everything,
but Zeon!

Final Script

Volcanon and Mitula are
invulnerable to everything,
except Zeon!

Goliath, who still hasn't left yet, expresses his concern. Creed expresses his anger.

April Script

I have no time to scold
him now!
The Evil Jewel may know
something.

Final Script

I have no time to scold you
now!
The Evil Spirit may know
something.

Creed runs off to his creepy basement.

April Script

You guys, follow him,
follow him!

Final Script

You guys, follow him.
Follow him!

Those guys follow him.

Area Dialogue#

Forest Village#

A helpful sailor (the non-servant kind) gives the crew directions.

April Script

To Creed Mansion?
Only the fairy knows how
to open the tunnel.
But, maybe
knows because he is a
friend of the fairy.

Final Script

To Creed Mansion?
Only the fairy knows how to
get there.
But, maybe [Elric] knows
because he is a friend of
the fairy.

According to this elven women, Elric went to look for the fairy.

April Script

Did you know, west forest
is very dangerous!

Final Script

The forest to the west is
very dangerous.

April Script

A book...
HOME-MADE WINE

Final Script

Nothing was there.

Translation Notes
There are three bookshelves in this town. One of them is holding the Secret Book item.
The other book descriptions were deleted to make the Secret Book's presence more obvious.
The book text is still in the ROM, though, as the censored "HOME-MADE POTIONS"

April Script

A book...
AN APPLE A DAY

Final Script

Nothing was there.

Translation Notes
This is also present in the final ROM, unchanged but inaccessible.

Time Trial#

Hidden to the right of the village is a secret, fourth wall-breaking time trial mini-game.

April Script

Now set a new record.
Best record so far is
XXXX min.YY sec.

Final Script

Now, set a new record.
Best record so far is
XXX min. YY sec.

Translation Notes
The spacing between minutes and seconds was fixed by the final draft.

If Bowie decides against doing this weird game:

April Script

Oh, what's a pity!
Please visit me anytime!!

Final Script

Oh, what a pity!
Please vist me anytime!!

Or, if Bowie succeeds and sets a new record:

April Script

You recorded
XX min.YY sec.
Congratulations!
You made it!
Come back again!
See you!

June Script

You recorded
XX min.YY sec.
Congratulations!
You made it!
Come back again!
See ya!

Final Script

You recorded
XX min. YY sec.
Congratulations!
You made it!
Come back again!
See ya!

Desktop Kingdom#

April Script

The devil Creed is a fine
gentleman.
His magic saved us when we
had a sudden eruption.

Final Script

Creed is a fine gentleman.
His magic saved us a long time
ago during a natural disaster.

Translation Notes
The actual nature of the disaster, a volcanic eruption, is glossed over in later scripts.

April Script

Devils cannot use their
magic to effect human
lives.
It's their rule. So, we
promised him we'd to stay
here.

June Script

Devils cannot use their magic
to effect human lives.
Supposedly, it's one of their
rules.

Final Script

Devils cannot use their magic
to affect human lives.
Supposedly, it's one of their
rules.

Translation Notes
The promise to live in Desktop Kingdom is only stated in the April script.

An old man is existential:

April Script

We never get old.
We never die.
Why do we live?

Final Script

We never get old.
We never die.
What is the meaning of life?

Two would-be party members are trapped in a lilliputian state.

April Script

You are people from the
outside! Why did you
come here?
Then you should get
out soon.
I suggest you go see King
Ponpei.

Final Script

Are you from the outside?
Why did you come here?
Ah, a mistake. I see.
I suggest you see King
Ponpei.

April Script

I happened to be involved
in the eruption.
I was looking for the
legendary sword.
I miss adventures.

Final Script

I was there during the
disaster.
I was looking for the
legendary sword.
I hate it here!

The lone soldier gives some information on the upcoming challenge.

April Script

The Chess Army is truly
strong.
It will be good training
for you.

Final Script

The Chess Army is very
strong.
It will be good training for
you.

April Script

The battle begins when
you get to the center
of the board.

Final Script

The army won't attack until
you reach the center of the
board.

Translation Notes
This is incorrect; You have to get to the opposite side of the board to start the battle.

Encourage words from the King's maid:

April Script

I'm sure King Ponpei would
help you.

Final Script

I'm sure King Ponpei will
help you.

The Desktop Army sounds off!

April Script

My attack power is the
best in the Army!

Final Script

My attack power is the best
in the army!

April Script

Healing is my only ability?
Ha, ha! You have a lot
to learn!

Final Script

Is healing is my only ability?
Ha, ha! You have a lot to
learn!

Translation Notes
The clunky and erroneous "Is healing is" was introduced in rewrites to the April script.

April Script

Mr. Creed gave me this
solid armored body!

Final Script

Mr. Creed gave me this solid,
armored body!

April Script

I lead the army with the
king.

Final Script

I lead the army with the King.

April Script

Chess Army of the Desktop
Kingdom is a well balanced
force!
If it is King Ponpei's
order, we accept your
challenge!

Final Script

The Chess Army of Desktop
Kingdom is a well balanced
force!
If it is King Ponpei's wish,
we will accept your
challenge!

After the chess battle:

April Script

Bravo! I'd give an army
if you stay here.

Final Script

Bravo! I'd give you an army
if you'd stay here.

April Script

He is pretending, but to
tell the truth,
it's a very special
treasure.
Don't waste it.

Final Script

He's just kidding, but to
tell the truth, the Cotton
Balloon is a very special
treasure.

Floor World#

A teen boy is trying to lift a (relatively) giant ring off of the floor.

April Script

Hmmm, Hmmm....

Final Script

Ungh!

April Script

It's too heavy...I can't
carry it...I give up!

Final Script

It's too heavy. I can't
lift it. I give up!

Tyrin came down here to escape, but those rats in the tunnel are keeping him here.

April Script

They're too ferocious.
I think we shouldn't
leave Desktop.

Final Script

They're too ferocious!
I'm gonna stay in Floor
World.

Randolf gives advice on entering strange holes.

April Script

You want to go to
Creed's room?
Are you serious?!
A hole in the wall leads
to the room, but don'tuse it!

June Script

You want see Creed?
Are you serious?!
A hole in the wall leads
to Creed, but don't use it!

Final Script

You want to see Creed?
Are you serious?!
A hole in the wall leads
to Creed, but don't use it!

(Source: Original TCRF research)