the cutting room mirror

Chapter 18

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This is a sub-page of Proto:Shining Force II.

Story#

Galam#

As Bowie's group crosses Galam's drawbridge, Geshp reports back to Zeon.

April Script

Once again, my minions
have failed me.
Are my soldiers too weak?

Final Script

Once again, my minions have
failed me.
Are my soldiers that weak?

April Script

Yes...oh, no! I mean,
they were strong enough.
But [Hero] and his force
were stronger than that.

June Script

Yes...oh, no! I mean, they
were strong enough.
But [Hero] and his force
were stronger.

Final Script

Yes...oh, no! I mean, they
were strong enough.
But [Hero] and his force
were smarter.

April Script

No more excuses!
This is your last chance.
Kill [Hero] at this time,
or I'll kill you!

Final Script

No more excuses!
This is your last chance.
Kill [Hero] this time,
or I'll kill you!

April Script

Ah...yes, sir...I'll kill
[Hero] to prove my
loyalty to you.

Final Script

Ah...yes, sir. I'll kill
[Hero] this time.
I stake my life on it.

April Script

Go and bring the Jewel of
the Evil back to me!

Final Script

Bring the Jewel of Evil back to
me!

Geshp does a much fancier version of his warping animation to impress Zeon -- it doesn't -- and Odd Eye enters. Zeon says that Odd Eye was right before.

April Script

This is the choice of the
god...[Hero] was chosen.

Final Script

Of course.

Translation Notes
Odd Eye shows some amount of reverence for Bowie in the April script.

April Script

I don't trust Geshp any more.
If he fails, I want you
to battle [Hero].

Final Script

I can't trust Geshp anymore.
If he fails, you must battle
[Hero].

April Script

[Hero] could be much
stronger now...hmmm,
sounds interesting.
I'll do it. This will be
the battle between good
and evil.

Final Script

He's probably much stronger
now.
Hmmm, sounds interesting.
I'll do it. If this comes
to pass, it will be his final
battle.

Granseal Field#

April Script

Finally you've arrived.
It was my mistake to
underestimate you.

Final Script

Finally, you've arrived.
It was a mistake to
underestimate you.

Geshp's in his usual place on the battlefield.

April Script

Geshp is serious...
He considers us worthy
opponents.
[Hero], be careful.
We can't underestimate
his power.

Final Script

Geshp is serious.
He finally considers us
worthy opponents.
[Hero], be careful.
We mustn't underrate his
power.

April Script

Zeon abandoned me...thanks
to you!
This is my last chance.
I can't see him again 'till I
bring him your head.

Final Script

Zeon doesn't trust me,
thanks to you!
This is my last chance.
I can't see him again 'til I
bring him your head.

One battle later...

April Script

My traps....ou...!

Final Script

My traps...

Geshp rights himself.

April Script

I'm at the end of my
rope...I must escape....

Final Script

I'm...at the end of my rope.
I...must...escape.

Geshp staggers around before walking into Bowie, whose Jewel of Light repels him. It's pitiable. Geshp begs the force to let him go.

April Script

We don't want to kill
you...you've lost your
power.

Final Script

We don't want to kill
you.
You've lost your powers.

April Script

You can go anywhere.

Final Script

You may go.

April Script

But...I....

Final Script

Thank you.

Translation Notes
Geshp isn't as thankful in the April draft. More...terrified.

Geshp crawls towards Galam.

April Script

Nowhere will be safe for me.

Final Script

I won't forget this.

He walks a few more meters before the screen dims. It's Zeon.

April Script

Do you remember your
promise?

Final Script

Do you remember your vow?

Geshp shakes his head.

April Script

You failed to get the jewel
from [Hero].
You will now pay me with
your life.

Final Script

You failed to get the jewel
from [Hero].
Now, you will pay with your
life.

April Script

No, please...No!

Final Script

No, please...NO!

Suddenly, eight fireballs surround Geshp. Each fireball slams into the greater demon, immolating him. The force is horrified by Zeon's malicious power.

April Script

He will do the same thing
to us when we lose to him.

Final Script

He will do the same to us
if we lose to him.

Yeel#

Lemon stands on the edge of Yeel's southwestern plateau.

April Script

I've killed a lot of
people for the devils!
My death will make there
souls rest easier!

Final Script

I've killed a lot of people
for the devils!
The guilt is too much to
handle. I must die!

Lemon jumps headfirst into the ground, making a literal lemon-shaped hole in the ground.

April Script

Gosh, [Lemon] killed
himself!

Final Script

Gee!
[Lemon] killed himself!

April Script

No, [Lemon] is not able
to kill himself by jumping
off a cliff.
[Lemon] is now immortal
he's a vampire.
I don't know it's good
for him or not.

Final Script

No, [Lemon] cannot die
by jumping off a cliff.
[Lemon] is an immortal
vampire.
But, I'm sure the impact
didn't feel too good.

That conspicuous piano in Yeel must do something special...

April Script

It's a fine looking piano.
Do you play?

Final Script

It's a fine-looking piano.
Will you play it?

If not...

April Script

[Hero], can't you
play it?

Final Script

[Hero]. can't you play?

As Bowie plays the piano, the earth trembles. Didn't think it was that bad. Or good, whichever. The important thing is that the piano reveals a set of stairs in the church.

April Script

Ah, finally the devils
found the secret door.
I must give them time to
escape from here!

Final Script

Ah, devils finally found the
hidden door.
I must give the people time
to escape!

April Script

The priest showed them
a holy symbol.

Final Script

The priest pulls out a holy
symbol.

April Script

What is he doing?

Final Script

What's he doing?

April Script

He's mistaking us for
the devils.

Final Script

He's mistaking us for devils.

April Script

What tough devils!
My symbol doesn't make
them sick!

Final Script

What tough devils!
My symbol doesn't drive
them away!

April Script

Excuse me...we're not
devils.

Final Script

Excuse me, we're not devils.

The priest isn't buying it.

April Script

But we're really...

Final Script

But we really...

A long-haired mustached man appears at the top of the stairwell.

April Script

[Chaz], they've
found out how to open
the door!
I tried to stun them with
this holy symbol, but I
failed.

Final Script

[Chaz], they found the
hidden door!
I tried to drive them away
with this holy symbol, but
I failed.

April Script

Then...they're not devils.

Final Script

Then, they're not devils.

April Script

Nobody but devils ever
come to such a dangerous
place! They're devils!

Final Script

Nobody but devils ever come
to such a dangerous place!
They must be devils!

April Script

Well...but...

Final Script

Have you asked them?

April Script

How can we explain this
to you?

Final Script

How can we explain this?

Astral explains they're from Granseal, here to hunt devils. Chaz is excited to recognize Sir Astral.

April Script

Yes, but...I'm sorry,
who are you?

Final Script

Yes, but...I'm sorry, have
we met?

April Script

I'm [Chaz], a son
of Hawel.
Don't you remember me?

Final Script

I'm [Chaz], a son of
Hawel.
Do you remember me?

April Script

Oh, [Chaz]!
Yes, yes, I remember you.
Nice to see you again.
What are you doing here,
[Chaz]?

Final Script

Oh, [Chaz]!
Yes, of course.
Nice to see you again.
What are you doing here?

Chaz came back to Yeel to continue his departed dad's work.

April Script

[Chaz], maybe you can
answer some questions I have?

Final Script

[Chaz], maybe you can
answer some questions?

April Script

Perhaps.
What would you like to
know, Sir?

Final Script

I'll try.
What would you like to know?

April Script

Oh, this will be a great
help! Thanks!

Final Script

Oh, this will be a great
help!

They head down the stairs...

Meanwhile, in an alternate universe where Bowie opened up the Ancient Tower somehow, Chaz asks if they're going to defeat the devils.

April Script

Yes. [Hero] just
solved the secret. We
can now enter the tower.

Final Script

Yep. [Hero] just
solved the secret. We
can now enter the tower.

The priest faces Chaz, then turns to Bowie.

April Script

I would like to give you
a rest.

Final Script

I would like to give you
a hand.

They head down the stairs...in an alternate way.

Yeel Underground#

Astral and Chaz sit across from each other at a table.

April Script

...and now that we are
all here.

Final Script

...and now we're here.

April Script

Wow...your story is too
complicated to understand
perfectly.
But, from what I understand
Zeon is reviving.
All these disasters were
caused by him, right?

Final Script

Wow! Your story is so
complicated.
But, from what I understand,
Zeon is reviving.
And all these disasters were
caused by him?

April Script

That's right. We have to
find out where the holy
sword is.

Final Script

That's right. We have to
find out where the Holy
Sword is.

April Script

I think I've seen it in
a book before.
Yes, I did...but...hmmm
I don't remember...

Final Script

I think I've seen it in a
book....
Yes, I did...but...
I don't remember....

April Script

Oh, come on...

Final Script

It's important...

April Script

Please give me a moment.

Final Script

Please, give me a moment.

Chaz paces back and forth, thinking. He searches through a nearby bookshelf.

April Script

Well...no, not this one.

Final Script

No, that's not it.

He walks away from the shelf for a bit. After thinking for a bit more, he runs over and grabs another book.

April Script

Did you find it?

Final Script

Is that the right one?

Yes, but...the important pages in the book have been stolen.

April Script

Maybe Galam....
Oh, we've lost the key.

Final Script

Who could've taken it?
Oh, we've lost the key.

April Script

We have one more key,
Sir Astral.
We can believe in
[Hero].
He was chosen by the gods.

Final Script

Not necessarily, Sir Astral.
Believe in [Hero].
He was chosen by the gods.

April Script

[Hero], we have to
find the holy sword and
the door to the tower.
The legend only hints of
you, but we believe in you.

Final Script

[Hero], we have to
find the Holy Sword and
the door to the tower.
The legends only hint of
you, but we believe in you.

April Script

Believe in the power of
your jewels!

Final Script

Believe in the power of
your jewel!

Chaz blocks the passage out. Seems he still wants something.

April Script

[Hero], would you
mind if I go with you?

Final Script

[Hero], would you mind
if I went with you?

Astral says he has to continue Hawel's work.

April Script

I knew you'd say that, but
I can't continue the work
if Zeon revives.
Also, as a historian I
want to see the legendary
devil.

Final Script

I knew you'd say that, but I
can't continue my work if
Zeon revives.
Also, as a historian, I
want to see the King of
the Devils.

April Script

I can't convince you.

Final Script

(Sigh)...OK.

Chaz joins the force!

April Script

Adventure! It sounds
so exciting.

Final Script

I'm so excited!

April Script

It's not a sight-seeing
trip! OK, let's go,
[Hero]!

Final Script

This is not a sight-seeing
tour, OK?!
Let's go [Hero]!

Yeel#

The force is stopped by Lemon as they leave the town.

April Script

May I join in your force?

June Script

May I join in your force?

Final Script

May I join your force?

April Script

You can trust me.
I was born a fighter.
As you know, I'm looking
for the place to die.
I would like to die for
you. Please let join!

Final Script

You can trust me.
I'm a born fighter.
As you know, I want to die.
I will die fighting for your
cause, if you let me.

April Script

He's a hero of Galam.
I think we should let him.

Final Script

He's a hero in Galam.
I think he should join us.

April Script

[Lemon], please come
with us. You'll be a great
help to us.

Final Script

[Lemon], please come
with us. You'll be a great
help.

Lemon joins the party!

April Script

Oh, thank you! I know I
take the devil king!

Final Script

Oh, thank you! I know I can
take the King of the Devils!

Granseal Field#

April Script

I just received information
that Geshp lost.
All greater devils have been
defeated except for Odd Eye.

Final Script

I just heard that Geshp
lost.
All greater devils have been
defeated except for Odd Eye.

The Hydra hatches a scheme to nab the jewel and get a juicy promotion from Zeon.

Hydras are not renowned for their scheme-hatchery.

Ancient Shrine#

The force heads down to the basement of the shrine.

April Script

The Jewel of Light
begins to glow.
The light seems to
lead [Hero].

Final Script

The Jewel of Light begins
to glow.
The light seems to pull
[Hero].

Bowie is pulled to where the jewels once were.

April Script

The jewel begins to glow.

Final Script

The jewel glows even
brighter.

The jewel wall collapses, revealing a secret room. Inside the room is a sword, naturally.

April Script

The holy sword is stuck
deep stable into the rock.

Final Script

The Holy Sword is stuck
deeply into the rock.

Bowie effortlessly pulls the sword out of the rock. The Force Sword joins the sword force!

Devil's Head#

East of the Ancient Tower is a giant stone devil head. Bowie pulls out the Force Sword and stabs the head in its mouth, opening a passage to a hellish place...

Area Dialogue#

Galam#

What's Red Baron up to?

April Script

Red Balon is [Lemon].
He was running around
and crying, "Somebody
kill me, please!▓█

Final Script

Red Baron is [Lemon].
He was running around and
crying for somebody to kill
him.

Translation Notes
The later drafts write around the quotation marks.

This poor woman isn't aware that the Galam/Granseal war ended over a year ago.

April Script

My boyfriend has not
returned from the war...
He may have been killed
by now...(sob, sob)....

Final Script

My boyfriend has not
returned from the war...
I hope he's alive...

Translation Notes
Well, she certainly got an optimism injection in her brain-hole.

Is Yeel haunted by...g-g-g-g-spirits?

April Script

I heard from a soldier
that Yeel is haunted.
Nobody in the village,
but you, can hear a piano.

Final Script

I heard from a soldier that
Yeel is haunted.
He said that he heard the
sound of a piano playing.

Well, not a whole statue, but otherwise this guy's on the ball.

April Script

Do you know about the
statue of the devil? It
appeared at the Ancient
Tower.

Final Script

Do you know about the stautue
of the devil? It appeared
at the Ancient Tower.

Translation Notes
The "stautue" typo was introduced in the June draft.

This soldier saw Red Baron go to the Ancient Tower.

April Script

Nobody returned from that
trip. I didn't go.
I was lucky!

Final Script

Nobody returned from that
trip. I didn't go. I was
smart!

This soldier saw something spookier.

April Script

I...I saw it...many devils
came from the tower....

Final Script

I...I saw them...many devils
came from the tower....

The old tower entrance isn't going to work.

April Script

You want to go into the
tower?
Impossible. It's now
buried to the ground and
there's no door.

June Script

You want enter the tower?
Impossible. It's buried in
the ground and there is no
door.

Final Script

You want to enter the tower?
Impossible. It's buried in
the ground and there is no
door.

Hole lotta nothing.

April Script

[N/A]

June Script

It reads...
RESPECT YOUR PARENTS

Final Script

A hole.

Translation Notes
The Japanese and April drafts have a null dialogue pointer for the hole.
The June script uses one of Galam's sign's text as a placeholder.
The final draft finally adds a (rather unremarkable) descriptor for the hole.

Devil's Head#

Let's look at the head that looks at the force.

April Script

A statue of a devil.
It looks ready to bite
you.

Final Script

A statue of a devil's head.
It looks ready to bite you.

(Source: Original TCRF research)