I saw it!
In the middle of the night, some
suspicious-looking men carried a
big parcel into the academy!
This happened some time ago,
but I wonder what of could've
been!
Final Script
I saw it! In the middle of the
night, some suspicious-looking
men carried a big parcel into
the academy!
This happened some time ago,
but I wonder what it could've
been!
May & August Scripts
What's with you guys?
You're being way to too
friendly!
Final Script
What's with you guys?
You're being way too
friendly!
May & August Scripts
I studying geology.
Recently, the soil quality has
been deteriorating.
Crops won't grow at all on this
farm.
My boyfriend,in the agricultural
department, is in tears!
Final Script
I'm studying geology.
Recently, the soil quality has
been deteriorating.
Crops barely grow on this farm.
My boyfriend,in the agricultural
department, is rather upset.
Translation Notes
There are some plants on the farm here that seem to be visibly alive, which might be why the third line was rewritten.
May & August Scripts
Well, I heard we jumped into
this fountain the other day, but I just don't remember a
thing.
It must've been fun, though.
You guys should forget about
your cares once in a while.
It'll do you good.
Final Script
I heard some students jumped
into this fountain the other
day.
I can't believe I missed all
the fun.
You should take a dip, it'll
do you good.
Translation Notes
The earlier dialogue is a close translation of the Japanese text, and implies that the student did jump in the pool but doesn't remember it, possibly for booze-related reasons. Can't think of any other reason why this would have been changed as such.
May & August Scripts
Just when it seemed that the
number of monsters was
decreasing, they're now roaming
in the town.
Do you think this is some
kind of omen?
Final Script
Just when it seemed that the
number of monsters was
decreasing, they're now roaming
in the town!
Do you think this is some
kind of omen?
May & August Scripts
My parent's home is located in
a village called Mile northeast of
here, but recently I haven't
been getting my allowance.
I wonder if they've forgotten?
Oh well,I better find some work.
Becoming a hunter,
now that sounds cool.
Final Script
My parents live in Mile, a
village northeast of here. Recently, I haven't been getting
my allowance. I wonder if
they've forgotten me?
Oh well, I better find a job.
Becoming a hunter...
now that sounds exciting.
May & August Scripts
No monster can get into this
town, the wall surounding the
town will protect us.
That's why I think those strange
monsters, that have been
appearing recently, must be appearinf from within the town.
I think there's something mighty
suspicious about the research
going on at the academy.
Final Script
No monster can get into this
town. The wall surrounding the
town will protect us.
That's why I think those strange
monsters must be appearing from
within the town.
I think there's something mighty
suspicious about the research
going on at the academy.
Objects
May Script
What a grand fountain.
...But I guess I won't jump into
it.
Final Script
What an impressive fountain.
Translation Notes
An innocent comment about the prospects of fountain-jumpery was deleted after the June prototype.
May Script
It's a ventilated case for
meteorological instruments.
The temperature right now is... 31.4 degrees.
Final Script
It's a ventilated case for
meteorological instruments.
The temperature right now is... 83 degrees.
Translation Notes
They remembered to convert the temperature from Celsius to Fahrenheit, but they did the conversion wrong: It should be either 88 or 89 degrees.
Oh my?
A customer! How unusual.
Oh, excuse me. You see, this
is a university town, so there
really isn't any need for
an inn.
Final Script
Oh my?
A customer!
Oh, excuse me. You see, this
is a university town, so there
really isn't much need for
an inn.
Translation Notes
An unnecessary sentence was cut.
Objects
May Script
Here's a visitor's book. We shouldn't be prying too much.
Final Script
A guest registration book. Should we sign in?
May Script
These must be so-called
supplies.
Final Script
The cabinet contains cleaning
supplies.
Translation Notes
The line in the May draft comes up a lot when inspecting cabinets in Motavian inns. Later drafts tried to give each inn a unique cabinet message, but they quickly give up on that.
The academy students,
are so noisy day in and day out!
Like the other day, they jumped into that fountain,
Don't they think about being
considerate to others?
I wish something could be done
about them...
August Script
The academy students,
are so noisy day in and day out!
Like the other day, when a group
of them jumped into that
fountain, what a scene!
Don't they think about being
considerate to others?
I wish something could be done
about them...
Final Script
The academy students are so
noisy day in and day out!
Like the other day, when a group
of them jumped into that
fountain, what a scene!
Don't they think about being
considerate to others?
I wish something could be done
about them...
Huh? You don't look familiar.
Arrgh!
You sure are carrying a
dangerous item there!
Don't get close to me!
Final Script
Huh? Do I know you?
Yikes!
What are you doing with such
lethal weapons?
Get out!
Translation Notes
Though the conversation was rewritten, the content is pretty much the same. He seems a little more forceful at the end, though.
May Script
I'm studying history.
This planet has problems since
the beginning. What's more, now we have an
abnormal climate,soil depletion,
a decreasing birth rate...
It makes me pessimistic
about the future!
Final Script
I'm studying history.
This planet has bad problems from the beginning. Presently, we have an abnormal
climate, soil depletion, and
a decreasing birth rate!
It doesn't make for a promising
future.
May Script
You're too depressing.
Final Script
This guy is too depressing. Let's get out of here.
Translation Notes
An extra line was written here to add some spice to Alys' response.
May Script
I'm so scared of the monsters.
There's nothing I'd like more
than to get out of here, but
since the principal feigns
ignorance before the citizens,
we've got to stay quiet.
Final Script
I'm so scared of the monsters.
There's nothing I'd like more
than to leave town.
But the principal won't allow
it.
Translation Notes
All drafts revert back to the May translation after Hahn joins the party. This is because the version of this dialogue where Hahn replies to this guy (His line is the same in all drafts) is actually stored separately. They must have forgotten to change that copy.
May Script
A thousand years ago,
our society was thrown into
confusion by the destruction of
Mother Brain. On top of that,
Motavia sustained a direct hit
by a fragment of the exploding
planet Parma. The past civilization was
destroyed.
We call this
'The Great Collapse.' Oh,sorry about that. I didn't
realize you weren't students.
Final Script
A thousand years ago,
our society was thrown into
confusion by the destruction of
Mother Brain. After that,
Motavia sustained a direct hit
by a fragment of the exploding
planet Parma. Our civilization was almost
destroyed.
We call this
'The Great Collapse.' ...Oh. I didn't realize you
weren't students.
Translation Notes
The past civilization went from "destroyed" to "almost destroyed" in rewrites.
May Script
For the last half year, there
have been violent changes in the
planet's crust. There has also
been an abnormal outbreak of
monsters!
At this rate,
the planet will be doomed...
Final Script
For the last year there have
been violent changes in the
planet's crust, as well as an
abnormal outbreak of monsters!
At this rate,
the planet will be doomed...
Translation Notes
For some reason, they changed the time frame from half a year to a full year.
Objects
May Script
'Algoian History' in 20
volumes...
But it seems like they've all
collected dust.
Final Script
A very dusty 20 volume set of
'Algoian History.'
Translation Notes
Same content, just squeezed into a single message box.
May Script
I've got to clean up after
myself...
Final Script
The table is cluttered with
papers.
Translation Notes
Now this line in the May script doesn't make a lick of sense...someone got their object pronouns messed up somewhere. It was completely rewritten later.
May Script
'The God of Learning
Doctor Lubetz'
Hmm, a person from two thousand
years ago.
Final Script
'The God of Learning -
Doctor Lubetz'
Hmm... a person from two
thousand years ago.
Translation Notes
This is supposed to be Doctor Luveno (ドクタールベノ), a character from the first Phantasy Star game who built Alis' spaceship. The translator might have read "ベノ" (Beno) as "ベツ" (Betsu), which would result in the incorrect name.
May Script
...The books are left out.
Final Script
The table is cluttered with
books.
May Script
It's a book about geology.
Final Script
A book titled 'Geology Today.'
Translation Notes
The May book descriptions match the Japanese script, while later English drafts gave the books actual titles.
May Script
It's a book about literature.
Final Script
A book titled 'Literature of
Parma.'
Translation Notes
Again, the original line only mentioned that it's a literature book.
May Script
It's a book about linguistics.
Final Script
A book titled 'The Polyglot.'
Translation Notes
Meaning "someone able to read and/or write in several languages."
May Script
Modernology?
I don't understand.
Final Script
A book titled 'Modernology.'
Translation Notes
Chaz doesn't comment on his confusion in later drafts.
You, you are a hunter? Please exterminate the monsters quickly.
Final Script
Are you a hunter? Are you here to exterminate
the monsters?
May Script
About a month ago, monsters
began to appear in the basement. It's so frightening, I can't
even think about my research!
Final Script
About a month ago, monsters
began to appear in the basement. I'm so frightened, I can't
even think about my research!
May Script
You're the hunter that was
commissioned by the principal?
A kid like you?!
Are you going to be able to
handle it? I'm not going to come
help you if you start crying.
Final Script
You're the hunter commissioned
by the principal?
A kid like you?!
Are you going to be able to
handle it?
Translation Notes
Later drafts delete this guy's last line. Who knows why?
May Script
If you're looking for the
principal's room, it's way in
the back.
But recently, he's been acting
strangely.I think he's scared.
Final Script
If you're looking for the
principal's room, it's way in
the back.
But recently, he's been acting
strangely.
I think he's scared of
something.
May Script
Here at Motavia Academy,
we search for the truth of the
universe, and spread learning.
This is the largest research
facility on the entire planet of Motavia. What do you think?
Isn't it grand?
Final Script
Here at Motavia Academy,
we search for the truth of the
universe.
This is the largest research
facility on the entire planet.
What do you think?
Isn't it grand?
Translation Notes
The part about "spreading learning" was deleted after the June prototype.
It looks like an interesting
place, doesn't it, Alys?
May Script
Really? It doesn't stimulate
my interest.
Final Script
Really? It doesn't interest me
one bit.
May Script
Once, there were three planets
in the Algo solar system, but
during 'The Great Collapse,' one of the planets, 'Parma,'
was lost.
Now only 'Dezolis' and this
planet, 'Motavia' remains...
Final Script
Once, there were three planets
in the Algo solar system, but
during The Great Collapse,
the planet Parma was lost.
Now only Dezolis and this
planet remain.
May Script
Apparently, a thousand years ago we even had a ship that could
travel through space. Now the only thing we can do is
view Dezolis through a
telescope.
Ah! Just once, I would love
to go to Dezolis!
Final Script
Apparently, a thousand years ago there were ships that could
travel through space. Today, the only thing we can do
is view Dezolis through a
telescope.
Ah! Just once, I would love
to go to Dezolis!
Objects
May Script
Wow! It's a telescope!
Final Script
Wow! What a view.
Translation Notes
In later drafts, Chaz is no longer impressed at the mere existence of the telescope, but by its function.
May Script
Hmm...'Heavenly Phenomena' ...
It's an astronomy book.
Final Script
Here's a book titled
'Heavenly Phenomena.'
Translation Notes
Chaz no longer identify's the book's subject matter. That much can be inferred anyway, though. It's in the telescope room, after all.
May Script
It says 'Chemical Reagents That
React Only to Hemoglobin and
Precipitate'.
Final Script
The book is entitled
'Chemical Reagents.'
Translation Notes
This book got a lot less specific in alter drafts.
May Script
It's a chemistry book.
Final Script
The book case contains many
chemistry books.
May Script
These are chemistry lab tools.
Final Script
The table is loaded with
chemistry apparatus.
Translation Notes
A minor change, but they're explicitly marked as chemistry lab tools in the May draft.
May Script
These must be very important books.
They're under lock.
Final Script
These books must be important.
They're under lock and key.
May Script
It's an archeology book.
Final Script
It's an interesting archeology
book.
Translation Notes
A blatant push from Big Archeology!
May Script
The owner of the room is right
in front of our eyes...
Final Script
The cabinet is locked.
Translation Notes
Chaz, no longer deterred by the Principal's presence in later drafts, is now stymied by a lock.
Hahn! Don't bring such uncivilized animals with you!
Final Script
Hahn! What are you doing in the
company of those uncivilized
animals?
May Script
Wow, what a disgusting jerk!
Maybe I'll have a little fun
with him.
Final Script
What a jerk!
Maybe I'll have a little fun
with him.
Translation Notes
This jerk is no longer disgusting.
Ahhh!
Please put that away!
May Script
I'm studying history.
This planet has problems since
the beginning. What's more, now we have an
abnormal climate,soil depletion,
a decreasing birth rate...
It makes me pessimistic
about the future.
Final Script
I'm studying history.
This planet has had problems
since the beginning. Presently, we have an abnormal
climate, soil depletion, and
a decreasing birth rate!
It makes me pessimistic about
the future.
May Script
You're too depressing.
Final Script
This guy is too depressing.
Translation Notes
The line "Let's get out of here." was only added to the pre-Hahn conversation. It's missing from here on out.
I don't blame him. Recently,
the rate of environmental
degradation has increased.
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