The long long war from ancient
times was finally over.
The winner sacrificed
the loser to the heavens.
Four bells tolled.
Four torches were lit.
And the world continued
for thousands of years...
The long, long war of ancient
times had finally ended.
The Victor sacrificed
the vanquished to the heavens.
Four bells tolled.
Four torches were lit.
And the world continued
for a thousands years...
The long, long struggle of
ancient times finally ended...
The victor sacrificed
the vanquished to the heavens.
Four bells tolled.
Four torches were lit.
And the world continued
for thousands of years...
Translation Notes
It looks like the August script tried to change the text to "a thousand years" but forgot to change "thousands." Thousands is correct anyway, which is why that change was reverted in the final script.
May 30
Aug 15
Final
The Algo solar system, bearing its existence
in the heavenly skies... In the past, within those
stars in the system,
a brilliant civilization
flourished.
The people devoted themselves completely
to the pursuit of prosperity
and pleasure.
But,
in a series of disasters
the planet's management system,
'Mother Brain,' was destroyed. The result was the destruction
of the first planet 'Parma'
and over 90% of the entire population.
The advanced scientific
civilization was lost and the lives of the people
declined into poverty.
A thousand years has passed...
In time a renewed
strength and determination
emerged among
the people to try to make
propsperity take root again.
Due to cruel circumstances
that would not be
allowed to happen quite
that easily...
The Algo solar system, somewhere in space...
Once a brilliant civilization
flourished here.
The citizens devoted themselves
to art and the sciences,
and life was prosperous
and good.
Then a series of disasters struck.
The system-wide management
system, 'Mother Brain,' was
destroyed. So was the first planet, Parma.
Over 90% of the system's
population died, and the
advanced technological culture
was lost.
Society declined then,
spiralling downward until
at last only a few scattered
groups even remembered there
had once been better times.
A thousand years have passed.
At last, civilization in once
more on the rise across the Algo
system.
People are again turning to
thoughts of an easier life.
Old knowledge is being
rediscovered.
But just as things look
brighter, beyond a threshold
long thought closed, a dark and
very ancient evil stirs...
The Algo solar system,
somewhere in space...
Once a brilliant civilization
flourished here.
The citizens devoted themselves
to art and the sciences,
and life was prosperous
and good.
Then a series of disasters
struck.
The system-wide management
system, 'Mother Brain,' was
destroyed.
So was the first planet, Parma.
Over 90% of the system's
population died, and the
advanced technological culture
was lost.
Society declined,
spiralling downward until
at last only a few scattered
groups even remembered there
once were better times.
A thousand years have passed.
At last, civilization is once
more on the rise across the Algo
system.
People are again turning to
thoughts of an easier life.
Old knowledge is being
rediscovered.
But just as things look
brighter, beyond a threshold
long thought closed, a dark and
very ancient evil stirs...
Translation Notes
The line "and over 90% of the" in the May script doesn't actually show up in-game due to a misplaced control code.
All translations have pretty much the same content until halfway in, when the August script just starts making stuff up. The parts about old technology being rediscovered and the ancient evil aren't in the May prototype or the original script. Those additions turn this scroll from a prologue to a preview of what's to come later in the game.
In the May prototype, the screen fades out as soon as the last line of text leaves the top of the screen. The timing was never changed to accommodate the newer, longer block of text that the August and final scripts have. Now the screen fades out when the line "rediscovered." leaves the top of the screen, leaving less time to read the last four lines.
Since we're going there,
I'd sure like to see
the sights of the Academy.
Final Script
Since we're going to be there anyway, I'd sure like to tour
the Academy.
May & August Scripts
How can you even think such a thing?
I'll leave you behind if you don't get moving!
Final Script
Is that all you can think about?
Get moving or I'll leave you
behind!
May 30
Aug 15
AW 2884 The frequent outbreak of
monsters and those people called
hunters who have been called
upon to tackle this matter. ---- This was just an ordinary scene
for the planet Motavia.
Yes, even now...
AW 2884. Monsters attacks
have swelled the ranks of those who call themselves 'Hunters.' But as the attacks become ever ---- more frequent and powerful, an
elite few begin to wonder what
is behind this outbreak... and
when and how will it all end?
Translation Notes
The editor(s) rewrote the entire opening text from scratch. Most of the content is the same, but the part about wondering what caused the outbreak and how it would all end only appears in the final English script.
The May draft is split nicely into two different chunks, with the second chunk appearing after the first fades off the screen. The later English text isn't as nicely split, with the first chunk fading in the middle of a sentence.
Oops? I wandered around and now
I've gotten separated from Alys.
I've got to find Alys...
Final Script
Oops! I wandered around and now
I've gotten separated from Alys.
I've got to find her...
After walking about 10 steps to the west, Chaz is reunited with Alys.
May Script
Chaz, I've found you!
What are you doing,
bumming around?
Final Script
Chaz, where have you been?
C'mon, let's go!
Translation Notes
The first line is more accurately translated as, "Chaz, I've been looking for you!" Since Chaz finds Alys, not the other way around, the line in the May draft doesn't make sense.
May Script
Alys!
Final Script
But...
May Script
C'mon, follow me! We got to
see the principal and get
details about this commission.
Final Script
We have to see the principal
and get the details about this
commission.
In the principal's office...
May Script
Wel...welcome.
I'm the principal of this
academy.
Let's see, you must be Alys,
the hunter,
and you are her assistant, Chaz.
Final Script
Welcome.
I'm the principal of this
academy.
Let's see, you must be Alys,
the hunter,
and you are her assistant, Chaz.
Translation Notes
The principal is more audibly nervous in the Japanese and May prototype scripts.
May Script
Forgive me, but Chaz is an
important, full-fledged partner
of mine.
Anyway,
let's get down to brass tacks.
Describe the situation.
Final Script
Forgive me, but Chaz is a
full-fledged partner of mine. Now, let's get down to business.
Describe the situation.
Translation Notes
A bit strange that they swapped one idiom for another here. Maybe the thought brass tacks was too obscure?
May Script
OK. It...it's like this.
About a month ago...
Final Script
Ah...
Translation Notes
The final draft formats the Principal's explanation differently, with the line about monsters coming immediately after the monster picture shows up on-screen.
May Script
Mysterious monsters started to
appear within this academy!
It appears that they have made
the basement their headquarters.
I've since closed it off.
So far we've been without
incident, but who knows when
they'll appear again?
Please I beg you to destroy them all!
I'd like to settle this
matter discrectly,
I'm counting on your talent and
reputation, Alys.
August Script
About a month ago mysterious
monsters started to
appear within this academy!
It appears that they have made
the basement their headquarters.
I've since closed it off.
So far we've been without
incident, but who knows when
they'll appear again?
Please destroy all those
creatures. Ah...I'd like to settle this
matter discreetly,
I'm counting on your
reputation, Alys.
Final Script
About a month ago...
Mysterious monsters started to
appear within this academy!
It appears that they have made
the basement their headquarters.
I've since closed it off.
So far no one's been hurt, but
who knows when they'll appear
again?
Please, I beg you to destroy all
those creatures!
Ah...I'd like to settle this
matter discreetly,
I'm counting on your
reputation, Alys.
Translation Notes
"Been without incident" was rewritten to the more grave "no one's been hurt". Strangely, the Principal begging for help was deleted from the August draft, then put back in the final script.
May Script
No problem. You can rely on me.
Although,
it's strange that they suddenly
appeared in this academy.
Usually monsters don't come into town areas.
Do you have any idea
how this happened?
Final Script
No problem. You can rely on us.
Although, it's strange that all
those monsters suddenly
appeared in this academy.
Usually monsters don't come into inhabited areas.
Do you have any idea
how this happened?
May Script
Of...of course,
I don't have any idea.
Stop asking questions,
just hurry and exterminate
those monsters! After all, I'm paying you dearly
for your services!
Final Script
How would I know?
Stop asking questions.
Just hurry and exterminate
those monsters! Don't forget, I'm paying you
dearly for your services!
Translation Notes
More stammering from the Principal here. It's more apparent that there's something suspicious about him in the early draft.
Chaz and Alys walk out of the principal's office.
May Script
Something smells fishy here.
That principal is just too edgy.
Final Script
Something smells fishy here.
That principal was hiding
something.
Translation Notes
He's not really on edge in later drafts, so that line had to be rewritten.
Maybe he's afraid
of the monsters?
May Script
I don't think that's
the whole story.
Things are getting
a little interesting!
Final Script
I think there's more to it than
that.
Things are starting to get
interesting!
At the basement's entrance, a nervous man in a white shirts paces back and forth.
May & August Scripts
What? You're the hunter?
Really?
Final Script
What? You're the hunters?
Really?
Translation Notes
Hahn and Alys both leave Chaz completely out of this conversation in the May and August prototypes.
May Script
You mean you don't trust me?
August Script
You mean... you don't trust me?
Final Script
You don't think we can do the
job?
May Script
No, no, not at all! Really, that's not true!
Final Script
No, no, not at all! I didn't mean that!
May & August Scripts
Since I have the principal's
permission, let me pass.
Final Script
Since we have the principal's
permission, let us pass.
Wait!
Take me with you!
May Script
...Hmm. Seems like there's
a story behind this.
Final Script
Hmm. And why should we?
May Script
I am an assistant at this
academy and my name is Hahn. Actually, a professor named
Holt, whom I looked up to as
my mentor,
has gone to investigate
Birth Valley for his research.
We haven't heard from him since.
So, Now I am searching for
the professor's whereabouts!
Final Script
My name is Hahn. I am an assistant at this
academy. I work for professor Holt, who has gone to investigate
Birth Valley for his research.
We haven't heard from him since.
So, now I am searching for
the professor's whereabouts!
Translation Notes
Hahn went from just looking up to Professor Holt to working for him in later drafts.
May Script
Birth Valley...
that's the mysterious valley
that has been called
the sacred precincts of life.
Final Script
Birth Valley...
that's the mysterious place
that has been called
the sacred valley of life.
Translation Notes
The editor(s) wanted to space out the two uses of "valley" here.
But what's the connection
between the valley and this
current monster scare?
May Script
After the investigation team
led by the professor was
reported missing, the principal
barred everyone from entering
Birth Valley!
We're trying to get information
as to what's going on, but
he keeps evading the issue.
And then a month later this
monster scare begins!
I'll bet anything that
there is some sort of connection
between these incidents.
Final Script
After the investigation team,
led by the professor, was
reported missing, the principal
barred everyone from entering
Birth Valley!
We're trying to get information
as to what's going on, but
he keeps evading the issue.
And then this monster scare
begins!
I'll bet anything that
there is some sort of connection
between these incidents.
Translation Notes
The later drafts delete Hahn's reference to the Birth Valley incident happening a month prior. This is mentioned later anyway, so it's not a big loss.
May Script
Hmm, well it is true that
there is something fishy
about the principal's actions.
Final Script
Well it's true that
there is something fishy
about the principal's behavior.
May Script
Given the circumstances,
I feel compelled to investigate
the basement myself.
But come to think of it, it is kind of scary... ha ha ha!
Final Script
Given the circumstances,
I feel compelled to investigate
the basement myself.
But come to think of it,
it is a bit dangerous...
Translation Notes
Hahn occasionally laughs out of nervousness in the May prototype and the Japanese script. This character trait was pretty much eliminated in later English drafts.
May Script
So you were just waiting
for me to arrive?
Final Script
So you were just waiting
for us to arrive?
May Script
Well, yes, that's the idea!
You sure catch on quick!
Final Script
Well, ah, yes.
You catch on quick!
100 meseta!
What?
May Script
I'll take you with me
for 100 meseta.
I hope you weren't thinking of
asking me to go for nothing?
Final Script
We'll take you with us
for 100 meseta.
I hope you weren't thinking of
asking to tag along with us
for free?
May Script
Er...I can't get any money even from the principal...
Final Script
Er...I can't get that kind of
money from the principal...
Translation Notes
The later English line is more accurate here.
May Script
They are completely different
stories altogether!
Now, what are you going to do?
Final Script
That's not my problem.
Now, what are you going to do?
Translation Notes
The May line should be "That's a different story altogether!". Not sure why they pluralized it.
...OK, I'll pay...
The three head into the basement and find it swarming with bio-monsters. On the lowest level, they discover containers that seem to be incubating the same monsters they've been fighting. They also encounter a larger green creature called the Igglanova that's spawning even more bio-monsters, but it's no big threat and they deal with it quickly.
We did it!
May Script
Chaz! You're not at your best.
Your swing is slow!
Final Script
Chaz! You need more practice.
Your swing is too slow!
Translation Notes
Alys's original second line mentioned Chaz's "fumikomi" being half-hearted. Fumikomi is a kendo technique that involves jumping forward to reach an opponent in a single step...it's harder than it sounds. Not hard to see what that line was rewritten, though.
May Script
What? But this thing now,
I have to admit, is hard to...
Final Script
What? But we destroyed the
monster...
Translation Notes
Chaz has a different objection in the final script...
May Script
Don't be sassy!!
Final Script
With my help...
Translation Notes
...and Alys is more stern in the May script.
Sorry.
Now, Hahn?
Come over here.
What?
May Script
What is this big glass bottle? Come on, tell all!!
Final Script
What are these glass containers
for?
Translation Notes
There's more than one glass container down in the basement.
May Script
Uh...It's...
Final Script
These...
May Script
Hey, are you by any chance
breeding monsters here?
If that's the case,
this monster business is
no 'mystery' after all!
Final Script
Hey, are you by any chance
breeding monsters here?
If that's the case,
this monster business is
no mystery after all!
May Script
I...I don't know anything!
It's the first time I've been
in a room like this!
I've only just learned that such
a thing exists at the academy!
Final Script
I...I don't know anything!
It's the first time I've been
in this room!
I've only just learned that such
a thing exists at the academy!
Umm....
May Script
R...really, it's the truth!
Final Script
Really, it's the truth!
May Script
It seems like you're not
necessarily lying.
Final Script
I believe you...for now.
Translation Notes
Alys isn't as easily convinced in the later drafts.
May Script
The principal should know!
He must know what's in
this capsule!
Final Script
The principal must know about these containers!
Translation Notes
What's in the capsule is already established by this point.
May Script
Also, he must know what the
connection is between this
and the disappearance of
Professor Holt.
Final Script
He must also know the
connection between this
and the disappearance of
Professor Holt.
May Script
Hmm...that's splendid!
I'm off!Chaz!
Final Script
Yes, let's see the principal
again. C'monChaz!
May Script
Hey! Wait for me!
Don't leave me here!
Final Script
Hey!
Don't leave me here!
Back in the principal's office...
May Script
Wh...what's going on?
You seem upset.
Were you able to
defeat those monsters?
Final Script
Wh...what's wrong?
You seem upset.
Were you able to
defeat those monsters?
Translation Notes
Now that it's obvious that the Principal is guilty, the final script is fine with letting him start stammering again.
Yes, but there is something
I want to ask you.
What?
Is it just my imagination that
I saw some strange things
in the basement?
Ah...
May Script
Hey, you're hiding something,
aren't you!? Somebody hiding something from
me is the sixth most hateful
thing in this world!
Final Script
Stop beating around the bush.
Someone keeping information
from me is the sixth most dangerous thing in this world!
Translation Notes
The May line is accurate to the Japanese script (隠し事をされんのは あたしゃ世の中で6番目にキライなんだよ！), though it probably could have been phrased better. "My sixth most hated thing in this world", perhaps?
May Script
You're putting me in a bind!
All right already...
I'll tell all...
You are aware that recently,
there is an outbreak of
a new breed of monsters?
Final Script
All right already...
I'll tell you what I know.
You are aware of the recent
outbreak of a new breed of
monster?
Translation Notes
The Principal is being literal in the May draft: Alys has the man bound by his shirt (See above picture.)
Oh yes. Thanks to the outbreak
I'm not hurting for work.
May Script
Holt identified Birth Valley as
the origin of the outbreak,
and it was three months ago
that he went to investigate...
He says he discovered the
remains of an ancient and
advanced civilization!
The investigation team brought
back the monster breeding
capsules, and immediately set
forth on their second
investigative mission.
But...
Final Script
Three months ago, Holt
identified Birth Valley as
the origin of the outbreak,
and he went to investigate...
He says he discovered the
remains of an ancient and
advanced civilization!
The investigation team brought
back the monster breeding
capsules, and immediately set
forth on their second
investigative mission.
But...
Not one of them came back...
May Script
That's exactly right, Hahn.
Final Script
Yes, that's right Hahn.
And despite all this,
you didn't send out a rescue
team and banned entry to
Birth Valley!
No, no!
I...I was trying to send out
a rescue team! But...
Something happened?
At that moment
a man who called himself 'Zio'
appeared before my eyes...
Zio! I've heard of him.
That fake magician!
Ah, my dear principal of
Motavia Academy,
how are you doing?
May Script
Who was that!
Who are you!?
Final Script
Who... Who are you!?
My name is Zio...
Zio the black magician.
Do not intrude on Birth Valley.
What do you mean!?
In the future,
if you ever let anyone set foot
in Birth Valley...
May Script
Aargh!
Final Script
Ahhh!
Translation Notes
The May line makes it seem like he's more angry than scared.
Let me make something clear...
There is no need for you
to go to Birth Valley!
It's related to the research
team!
May Script
So that's why the Birth Valley
situation wasn't announced,
and also why you tried to keep
a lid on the monster situation.
But...what is all this?
Remains of an ancient advanced
civilization and Zio?
Final Script
So that's why the Birth Valley
situation wasn't announced,
and also why you tried to keep
a lid on the monster situation.
But...what is all this about?
Remains of an ancient advanced
civilization and Zio?
It seems like these are signs of
something to come.
May Script
That darn professor!
I'm going to Birth Valley!
Final Script
I need to help the professor!
I'm going to Birth Valley!
Translation Notes
Hahn's anger at the professor (or possibly of the situation he knows he's getting himself into) was rewritten. Seems more heroic in the later English drafts.
May Script
Hmmm.
This is egg-laying season for
sand worms, so be careful. Also beware of the wild beasts
in that area.
Final Script
Psst. Hahn.
This is egg-laying season for
sand worms, so be careful.
Translation Notes
Alys originally warned Hahn about thieves, not wild beasts. Might have been changed because there aren't any actual thieves in the area, though the point is moot since the line was deleted from later drafts.
May Script
Er...Alys?
Final Script
Ah...Alys?
May Script
I'm not giving you one meseta
more than 300 plus expenses.
Final Script
We'll tag along for 300 meseta
plus expenses.
Translation Notes
A complete screw-up in the May draft: Hahn is supposed to be paying Alys, not vice versa.
May Script
Well?
Birth Valley is to the
northeast!
Let's hurry! ...sniff
Final Script
Ah...deal!
Birth Valley is to the
northeast!
Let's hurry!
Translation Notes
Hahn doesn't sniffle in later English drafts. Another attempt to de-weeniefy the guy, maybe.
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