Stage Quotes

This is a sub-page of Splatoon/English Translation Differences.

Most of the stage quotes have mild-to-moderate differences between versions, and some are completely different. Notably, Marie has a much ruder/sassier tone in the US translation.

Ancho-V Games#

This stage has the fewest quote changes, surprisingly.

USA	Europe
Maybe the security staff takes a lot of breaks?	Maybe the security staff take a lot of breaks?

USA	Europe
Where do I apply?!	I know that face. It's your 'thinking about chips' face.

USA	Europe
Hey, look! Someone left a secret prototype running!	Hey look! Someone left a secret prototype running!
Ooooh, someone's gonna get fired...	They are going to be in so much trouble...

Arowana Mall#

USA	Europe
After battling, I love to unwind with a cuppa joe!	After battling, I love to unwind here with a cuppa!
Who's Joe?	Since when do chips come in a cup?

USA	Europe
Help! I have a sudden craving for peanut butter!	Help! I have a sudden craving for delicious chips!
Great stage tip, Callie. Really helpful.	Fine, I'll treat you to some. After we get our bonus!

USA	Europe
Hey, Marie, how would you tackle this stage?	Hey Marie, how would you tackle this stage?
Float like a jellyfish, sting like a...jellyfish?	Float like a Jellyfish, sting like...a jellyfish?

USA	Europe
Running around an empty mall is surprisingly fun!	I love running around a deserted mall!
It's good exercise if nothing else!	It's good exercise if nothing else!

USA	Europe
They're selling shirts with Judd's picture on them!	Marie! They've got clothes with a picture of Judd on!
Well, he is something of a cultural icon.	Well, he is something of a cultural icon.

USA	Europe
I need a disguise so I won't get mobbed by fans!	Mask, sunglasses, check. My disguise is complete!
Callie, you're being weird. Like, more than usual.	Callie, you're being weird. Like, more than usual.

USA	Europe
Omigosh! Look, Marie! That outfit is adorrrrbs!	Oh, hey! Check out all these great clothes!
That reminds me: don't window-shop during battle.	Just don't start window shopping during a battle!

USA	Europe
Redoing my makeup after a battle is such a hassle.	Re-doing my make-up after a battle is such a hassle.
You wear makeup? I woke up like this.	That's why I like to battle au naturel, make-up-free!

USA	Europe
So, the key to blattling here is—	So, the key to blattling here is—
Hold up—did you just say 'blattling'? Bahahaha!	Did you say 'blattling'? Get it together, Callie...

USA	Europe
The food court makes the best catfish burgers ever!	The food court here does the most amazing chips!
Eh, I'm more of a hot dogfish girl myself.	I know! They really are delicious.

USA	Europe
We did a fan meet and greet here not long ago!	We did a fan meet-and-greet here not long ago!
Stay tuned for more info about the next one!	Stay tuned for more info about the next one!

USA	Europe
Sometimes I come to this mall after work. But I always get mobbed by screaming fans!	Whenever I come here, I get mobbed by fans.
Hmm. They must think you're me.	They must think you're someone else...

Blackbelly Skatepark#

USA	Europe
Did ya know the Blackbelly Skate is a kind of fish?	Hey, what are those wire meshes? Are they new?
Yup! One of my friends is a Blackbelly Skate!	They've been there for years, Callie...

USA	Europe
I'm bad at skateboarding... I'd probably break a bone!	I'm bad at skateboarding... I'd probably break a bone!
Squids don't have bones, but whatever...	Squids don't have bones, Callie...

USA	Europe
I always accidentally splat innocent bystanders here!	It's so easy to get carried away here... and accidentally spray the visitors with ink!
Sure... "Accidentally."	You're totally doing that on purpose!

USA	Europe
Judd fell out of a tree trying to grab a coconut!	Judd fell out of a tree trying to pick a coconut!
Don't worry—he has a lot of built-in cushion!	He's awfully clumsy for a cat...

USA	Europe
Look at this place! Today's youth are so spoiled!	Look at this place! Today's youth are so spoiled!
Yeah, I am.	I'm pretty sure we still count as today's youth...

Bluefin Depot#

USA	Europe
Let's go on a world tour when our album drops!	If we get more famous, we can go on a world tour!

USA	Europe
Judd throws some killer secret parties down here!	I thought I saw a ghost here! But it was just Judd.
Shhh! What about 'secret' do you not understand?!	Something about this place sets me on edge...

USA	Europe
The depot looks like it could collapse any second!	It looks like it could collapse at any moment...
No kidding! Glad I don't own a condo around there.	I wonder if anyone is keeping it maintained?

USA	Europe
All right, Marie! Hit me with a hot strategy tip!	Marie! Tell us your strategy tips!
Yeah! Uh... Stay in school.	Um... Try and shoot opponents? Don't miss?

USA	Europe
Watching all the ships sail by totally floats my boat!	Really brightly coloured boats pass through here at night... I wonder what they're doing... Do you know?
...	No, but I do get this weird urge to follow them...

USA	Europe
That big iron bridge really defines this battleground...	That big iron bridge really defines this battleground.
It's always in my way when I'm gettin' my snipe on!	It gets in the way when I snipe with my Charger...

USA	Europe
So, there used to be a train station here... But now there's not.	There use to be a train station here... But now there's not.
Cool story.	Fascinating.

USA	Europe
I heard there's a glowing ghost haunting this place...	This place is haunted by a strange glowing orb...
Um...are you sure that's not just Jelonzo?	Are you sure that isn't just Jelonzo?

USA	Europe
Man, this place is such a ghost town these days!	This place use to be heaving with people!
Totally! I've heard Gramps say he used to battle here.	Yeah, Gramps was saying he used to battle here!

USA	Europe
Remember when we shot a music video down here?	We shot a music video here one time, right?
How could I forget?	That was a gruelling day!

USA	Europe
What do you and Bluefin Depot have in common?	What do me and Bluefin Depot have in common?
When it comes to Turf War we're both pretty rusty...	When it comes to Turf War you're both pretty rusty...

Camp Triggerfish#

USA	Europe
No, but I brought hot dogs!	I, uh, sort of already ate them. Heh...

USA	Europe
Apparently they've rebuilt this place tons of times.	Apparently they've rebuilt this place tons of times!
Ugh... Indecisive people annoy me...I think.	Why not pick a design and THEN start building it?

USA	Europe
Bleugh, those totem poles give me the creeps.	Bleugh, those totem poles give me the creeps!
Aww, I think they're kinda cute!	Aww, I think they're kind of cute!

USA	Europe
Surprisingly, Inklings can only swim in ink.	Swimming isn't an Inkling's strong suit...

USA	Europe
♪ Triggerfish! Triggerfish! Pull that trigger, fish! ♪	♪ Trigger trigger trigger! Trig! Trig! Trig! ♪

USA	Europe
Look at all this space! Get ready to run...a lot.	Look at all this space! Get ready to run a lot!
I'd rather just save my energy and use a charger.	I'd rather just save my energy and use a Charger!

USA	Europe
Let's roast marshmallows over the campfire!	Marie! I worked out how to make chips on a campfire!
Splat that! Team Hot Dog for LIFE!	Look at you! That makes two recipes you know now!

USA	Europe
Marie, got any hot tactical tips for this stage?	Marie, got any strategy tips for us on this stage?
Of course! Just, uh, believe in yourself!	Um... Just believe in yourself!

USA	Europe
Being here makes me feel like a kid!	The midday sun here is so warm!
Really? I feel more like a squid.	Not as warm as my cosy indoor heating...

USA	Europe
Marie, tell us all about this map!	Um, looks like we don't have any notes for this...
Oh, um... Isn't the air here...uh...delicious?	Oh, uh...um... Isn't the air here...uh...delicious?

USA	Europe
We should go camping here on our day off.	We should go camping here on our day off!
Why camp when I can just be lazy at home?	I'd rather just laze about at home, actually...

USA	Europe
We've been battling a long time, but, you know... I can't remember a time when Judd wasn't the ref!	We've been battling a long time, but weirdly enough... I can't remember a time when Judd wasn't the ref!
Some say he's been reffing since the dawn of time...	He's been around since even before we were born!

Flounder Heights#

USA	Europe
I could only live here if I was on the ground floor.	I could only live here if it was on the ground floor.

USA	Europe
I could Super Jump to work if I lived here!	Even if I lived on the 10th floor, I'd take the stairs!
No thanks! Super Jumping makes me nauseous...	Only because you can't stand waiting for the lift...

USA	Europe
WHOOOA! I can see the mountains in in the distance!	Hey hey! I can see the mountains in the distance!
Yes, I also have eyes.	Big whoop.

USA	Europe
It's a clear view all the way out west!	Yeah, but the afternoon sun gets really hot...

USA	Europe
Won't people be mad if we get ink on their condos?	Won't people be mad if we get ink on their washing?
Not our problem!	It disappears after a while, right? So no problemo.

USA	Europe
You used to tag kids who weren't even playing!	You used to run after kids who weren't even playing!

Hammerhead Bridge#

USA	Europe
This bridge will cut our commute time in half!	This bridge will cut our commute time! More work!
Yay! I can hit the snooze button more times!	I think you mean more time for sleep...

USA	Europe
Are all the workers slacking off or what?	Are all the workers skiving off or what?

USA	Europe
When it's done, this'll be the biggest bridge around!	When it's done, this'll be the longest bridge around!
With the biggest toll to match...	It'll probably have the most expensive toll, too...

USA	Europe
The harbor looks so pretty from here at night!	The harbour looks so pretty from here at night!

USA	Europe
I can't wait to drive across the bay on this bridge!	I can't wait to take a trip across this bridge one day!

USA	Europe
Oooh... I can see my condo from here!	Look! Look! I can see the horizon from here!
Focus, Callie.	Why don't we just concentrate on battles?

USA	Europe
Got any tips for this map, Marie?	Right then! Marie, what are your tips for this map?
Right then! Marie, what are your tips for this map?	Shoot 'em down from below the mesh! Or...whatever.

USA	Europe
The soothing sea backdrop makes me want to nap.	The soothing sea backdrop makes me want to nap...
Everything makes me want to nap...	Don't say things like that... You'll make me sleepy too!

Kelp Dome#

USA	Europe
Try flanking your enemies, then move in for the krill!	All this tech, yet the place is buzzing with insects...
You just couldn't kelp yourself, could you?	Woodlice I can handle. Anything else? NOPE.

USA	Europe
I heard they grow veggies in here too!	Hey hey! I heard they grow beans here too!
Ugh... Veggies? I'd rather eat a Splattershot.	That makes me think of Gramps's bean biscuits!

USA	Europe
Hey, you ever wonder what Judd does on his days off?	Hey, Judd is a pretty strange critter, isn't he?
Oh, I know exactly what he does. He sleeps. Allllll day.	Stop gossiping during the show, Callie!

USA	Europe
So...I read online that ink is really good for plants!	I read on the web that ink is really good for plants!
Seems legit.	Cite your sources, Callie!

USA	Europe
I saw a Super Sea Snail in here the other day!	I saw chips growing here the other day! I think...
I hear they love to eat kelp!	I'm pretty sure that was just a dream, Callie.

USA	Europe
Ah... It's always so nice and warm in the dome!	It's always lovely and warm in here, isn't it!
Yeah, it's nice if you like pitting-out all your shirts!	I hate the heat...

USA	Europe
Everything grows great in here because it's so hot!	It's so hot here the crops grow really big and strong!
Hm... Hold on a sec—I gotta go plant some french fries!	I wonder if they have a chips tree here...

USA	Europe
It's so humid here! Battling makes me super sweaty!	It's so humid here, battling makes you super sweaty!

USA	Europe
OK, Marie! What's your advice for this stage?	Marie! What advice do you have for this stage?
Hairspray. Seriously, the humidity in here is chaos!	Um... Huh? Sorry, did you say something?

USA	Europe
What are they studying in the Kelp Dome anyway?	What do Kelp Dome and me have in common?
Algae, brah.	Uh... You're both sweaty and full of food?

USA	Europe
This dome is a fully sustainable ecosystem!	You know, I don't get this newfangled dome tech.
It's about to be a fully stained ink-osystem!	How old are you again?

Mahi-Mahi Resort#

USA	Europe
The water level changes! This must be a tide pool!	I wonder what makes the water level change here!
Pretty sure it's just machinery, Callie!	I'm sure it's just machinery, Callie!

USA	Europe
Why don't you take a quick dip?	D'you think it'd be so bad if we had a quick dip?

USA	Europe
Let's take a dip in the pool, Marie!	Let's use ink to reserve the best pool chairs!
You go first. I'll be here when you respawn.	Callie, you know the ink disappears after a while...

USA	Europe
Didn't we model swimwear here once?	This would be a great place for a holiday!
Shh, we don't want people to go looking for the pics!	If we ever got time off...

USA	Europe
Yeah! He's actually really svelte under all that fur!	He was so bedraggled that nobody recognised him!

USA	Europe
The kiosk by the pool sells algae-flavored ice cream!	The kiosk by the pool sells chip-flavoured ice cream!
That sounds both delicious AND nutritious...	That sounds both delicious AND healthy...

USA	Europe
Marie! (hic!) What's your (hic!) strategy here?	Marie-hic! What's your-hic! tip for-hic!-winning here?

USA	Europe
I call that technique... PASSIVE AGGRESSION!	I call that technique... FINAL CRYSTAL DUST!

Moray Towers#

USA	Europe
Even though we're high up, Judd still sees everything!	Gah, it's so high!
He loves it here. It's like a giant cat tower!	Don't you think fighting so high up is kind of thrilling?

USA	Don't look down... Don't look down...	NOOOOOOO WHYYYYY?! (I looked down.)

USA	Europe
Hey, does that highway go over Urchin Underpass?	Hey, does that highway join the Urchin Underpass?
I hope so! I love that map!	You just hope it does so you can go eat sundaes!

USA	Europe
I love dashing across this stage with a roller!	I love dashing across this whole stage with a Roller!
It's all fun and games until I splat you in the face!	It's all fun and games until I Charger you in the face!

USA	Europe
So... if Judd ever called in sick, what would happen?	If Judd didn't show up, who would decide the winner?
I don't even want to think about that!	Us? Haha! Wow, I crack myself up sometimes.

USA	Europe
It's SO expensive to park in these parking towers!	It's so expensive to actually park here.
Maybe that's why there aren't many cars here.	The prices sound more like rent than a parking lot!

USA	Europe
It's so foggy I can't see the ground!	It's so foggy I can't even see down to the ground...
That's called draw distan-- Er... It's smog. cough	I think... cough... that might actually be smog!

USA	Europe
Ugh...	...

USA	Europe
OK, Marie. Give us another one of your pro tips!	Marie, tell us how to tackle this stage!
What goes up must come down...unless it doesn't!	Um... Get them before they get you?

USA	Europe
It's a good thing I'm not afraid of heights, heh...	Urgh, I'm really not good with heights!
gulp	I wouldn't have expected that from you, Callie!

USA	Europe
I just saw a helicopter fly by! Let's take it for a spin!	Whoa, a helicopter! I wanna fly it!
There's NO way I'm getting in a helicopter with you.	There's no way I'm getting in a helicopter with you.

USA	Europe
Rollers are super effective here!	Without a doubt, Rollers are superior on this stage!
Chargers are the very best, like no gun ever was!	Um... No. Chargers are by far the best!

Museum d'Alfonsino#

USA	Europe
Gramps said I'm really good at drawing!	I won an art contest once when I was a kid!
Yeah, your drawings are really, uh...avant-garde.	Well, I guess your drawings do qualify as...modern art.

USA	Europe
No need for that. Just glance as you run by!	Nah, no need for that. Just glance as you run by!

USA	Europe
It'll be an improvement in most cases...	It vanishes. It's fine. Don't question these things.

USA	Europe
Ahhhh! I just love art!	I love classic art! It can teach you so much!
Art schmart. I wish this was a science museum.	Like how to sleep standing up? I heard you snoring...

USA	Europe
The exit!	There are so many! The café, the gift shop...

USA	Europe
Yeah, until you lose your lunch...	Yeah, until you get sick to your stomach...

USA	Europe
I call that technique...THE BUBBLE HUDDLE!	I call that technique...ETERNAL PHALANX OMEGA!

USA	Europe
They had an art show for local Inkopolis artists here.	They had an art show for local Calamari artists here.

Piranha Pit#

USA	Europe
I think I saw two diamonds sparkling over there!	I think I saw a diamond sparkling back there!
Pretty sure that's just Judd staring at us.	Eh, it was probably just Judd's eyes again.

USA	Europe
I heard they film sci-fi and fantasy movies here!	They often film sci-fi or fantasy movies here!
I can see why. This place is freaky!	This place definitely has a cool atmosphere!

USA	Europe
I used to work part-time here back in the day.	I used to work part-time here, back in the day.
Really? You can hardly lift a grocery bag!	You? Physical labour? Don't make me laugh!

USA	Europe
I wonder if you can dig up precious gems here...	I wonder if you can dig up precious gems here!
Only one way to find out! ...To the Internet!	They'd never allow battles if you could, would they?

USA	Europe
You sure have a weird definition of "know."	You have an unusual definition of "know".

USA	Europe
Are you seriously...? Just... Never mind.	Sure, if you keep running the wrong way.

USA	Europe
Sure, I guess. If you're into that sort of thing...	Sure, I guess, if you like that kind of thing...

Port Mackerel#

USA	Europe
C'mon, Marie. Give us a pun. Just one? Please?	C'mon Marie, give us a pun. Just one? Please?
Look at all the cargo! I can hardly CONTAINER myself!	Look at all the cargo! I can barely CONTAINER myself!

USA	Europe
They can splat you from around corners! It's totally OP!	They can splat you from around corners! It's unfair!

USA	Europe
I wanna try racing one of those forklifts around!	I wanna try operating one of the forklift trucks!
Callie, you can barely ride a bike.	Callie, you're not even licensed to drive a car...

USA	Europe
Um... It's not. Trust me.	Um...it's not. Trust me.

USA	Europe
If you run out from behind the crates all willy-nilly... you're gonna get splatted!	If you keep dashing out from between the crates... You're gonna get splatted!
Yuuup. I like to hide for a bit and catch my breath!	Take a moment to hide and get your breath back!

USA	Europe
Making use of the containers here is crucial!	Making wise use of the containers here is crucial!
What's in those containers anyway? Maybe...CANDY?!	I feel bad for the people who are trying to work...

USA	Europe
OK, Marie! Give us your very best tactical tip!	Marie! What strategy advice do you have for us?
Hm... Winning is temporary, but looking cool is forever!	Um... It might be quicker to check online...

USA	Europe
I have NO IDEA. I think he might have superpowers!	I have NO IDEA. I think he might have super powers!

USA	Europe
This stage has visibility for days... A charger would be totally money!	This stage has great visibility. A charger would probably be really effective!
Word.	Who are you kidding? You're a roller girl!

Saltspray Rig#

USA	Europe
You know, salted squid is a delicacy in some places.	It makes my skin totally dry as well...

USA	Europe
Hey, Marie. Can you think of any good puns?	Hey Marie, can you think of any good puns?

USA	Europe
So, Marie, how would you plan your attack here?	Hey Marie, what's the best way to attack here?
Uhh... Shoot lots of ink?	Uhh...shoot lots of ink?

USA	Europe
Ah, staring at the ocean is so therapeutic.	I love to come and spend hours staring at the sea.
So is therapy.	You mean spend hours catching a cold...

USA	Europe
"Just grab the high ground and it'll be an easy win!" ...Is what amateurs say. Then they get splatted.	"Just grab the high ground and it'll be an easy win!" ...Is what amateurs think. Then they get splatted.

USA	Europe
I love riding the elevators here! SO MUCH FUN!	The lift here is so much fun to ride! Exciting stuff!
Sure. If by "fun" you mean ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING!	Exciting? Don't you mean scary?

USA	Europe
I hope those poor seagulls don't get all inked up!	The thing about this stage is it's covered in seagulls! It's too easy to splash ink on them by accident!
Well, seagulls are natural predators of squid, so...	So you're the reason they seem so angry sometimes...

USA	Europe
Uhh... This is, like, an oil field, right? Should we really be tossing explosives around?	There's an oil field here, right?! Should we really be throwing bombs around?
They're ink bombs! Not TNT! It's totally safe.	They're only ink bombs! It's totally safe.

USA	Europe
They should totally open a relaxing day spa here!	They should totally open a cute coffee shop here!
Uh... On an oil rig? Great business plan, Callie.	On an oil rig? Not exactly the greatest business plan.

Urchin Underpass#

USA	Europe
Aww! Some of these signs are pictures of us!	Aww! Some of these signs have pictures of us on them!

USA	Europe
Daah... I think securing the central area here is key.	Daah... I think securing the central area here is key?

USA	Europe
Maybe try asking when we're NOT on the air...	Could you try asking when we're NOT on the air?

USA	Europe
I just saw a SUPER fresh car drive by! I want it!	I just saw the raddest car! I wanna take it for a drive!

USA	Europe
Road trip! Any cuties out there wanna go for a ride?	I wanna take a road trip! ...Does anyone have a car?

USA	Europe
I... Um... Uh... Stay fresh?	I... So... Right. Um... Yeah.
Can somebody please fix the teleprompter?!	Can somebody get the cue cards please?!

USA	Europe
OK, Marie. What's your favorite strategy here?	OK, Marie. What's your favourite strategy here?

USA	Europe
The ice-cream shop near here has the best sundaes!	Omigosh, that shop near here has the best sundaes!
Are there any restaurants you HAVEN'T been to?	Are there any restaurants you DON'T know, Callie?

USA	Europe
The birds here are totes adorbs!	The birds here are so cute!
So you're...Team Bird, then?	You're a real bird fan, huh?

USA	Europe
Didn't we do an undercover news story here once?	Wait, didn't we come here for a news story, once?
Don't remind me...	We did?! I only remember coming here for sundaes...

USA	Europe
Whoa! That's a big ol' underpass!	Whoa! That's a pretty big underpass!
But don't stop to stare at it! There's battling to do!	But don't stop to gawp at it! There's battling to do!

Walleye Warehouse#

USA	Europe
My team is always terrible on this stage!	Didn't you get trounced on this stage the other day?
Yeah, "your team" is terrible.	...I tried out a new weapon, but it wasn't for me...

USA	Europe
Get up high and shoot the opponents from above!	Get up high and shoot the opponents from above!
Or, you know, don't...	How are you planning to shoot with a Roller?

USA	Europe
I wonder what our old coworkers are up to now.	I wonder if our old colleagues are doing well.
Everyone was so nice, even when we messed up!	Everyone was so kind, even when we messed up!

USA	Europe
Try not to spray all of the cargo with ink, will you?	If you're not careful, you could ruin the cargo! Nobody wants to receive packages covered in ink...
Whatevs! The ink vanishes when the battle's over!	Whatever! It all vanishes once the battle's over!

USA	Europe
Judd always appears out of nowhere after a battle! I swear I'll never get used to that!	Judd always appears out of nowhere at the end of battles... I swear I'll never get used to that!
His eyes glow in the dark! True story!	His eyes glow in the dark! True story!

USA	Europe
Next up, some letters from our adoring viewers!	Next up, some letters from our viewers!
Are you trying to skip the stage-info part again?	Are you trying to skip the stage info part again?

USA	Europe
In a remote corner of a dimly lit warehouse... two brave inklings prepare to meet their destin—	Off in a remote corner of the warehouse, two young Inklings are...
BATTLING! They're battling, aren't they?!	BATTLING!

USA	Europe
Remember working here part-time back in the day?	Remember working here part-time back in the day?
Yeah, and how often you broke the assembly line...	Yeah, and how you broke the assembly line...

USA	Europe
So many containers... I wonder what's inside them!	So many containers... I wonder what's inside them!
Wouldn't it be rad if it was all Squid Sisters merch?!	It'd be great if it was all Squid Sisters merchandise!

USA	Europe
So, Marie! What are the hot strats for this stage?	So, Marie! What's the best strategy for this stage?
Uh... Try your best?	Uh... Fight well?

USA	Europe
The best thing about working here was the food!	The best thing about working here was the staff canteen.
The best thing about working here was quitting.	The best thing about working here was quitting.

USA	Europe
There are so many boxes passing through here!	There are so many boxes passing through here!
At least the economy is perking up!	Maybe people should cut down on online shopping...

USA	Europe
We used to work here! Remember those uniforms?	We used to work here! Remember those uniforms?
Yeah, I burned mine after I quit.	I think I still have mine somewhere, actually!