Script

This is a sub-page of Development:The Simpsons: Hit & Run.

To do:
investigate the VA lines to see if they're different.

October 30, 2002 Script#

To do:
More...

In /documents/design/Scripts/The Simpsons Driving 2 SCRIPT as of 30 OCT 2002 changes.doc contains a near-final script, with some interesting changes, such as differentiating objectives. A handful of those lines also appear to be slightly ad-libbed in the final, where most of them won't be covered.

Missions#

Level 1#

In S-M-R-T (L1M1), Homer was originally going to burp after realizing he ate the fig.

LISA
Thanks for bringing me my model of the digestive system! (NOTICING) Hey, where’s the gall bladder?
HOMER
(GUILTY) I got hungry…and it was a fig. (BURPS)<-ATTACH SIMPSONS BURP FILE

The mission originally had an extra part, segueing into Petty Theft Homer. Marge's dialogue would be repurposed before said mission starts.

MISSION TEXT: RETURN HOME
Homer drives home and talks to Marge.

MARGE Homer, go talk to Ned Flanders. He seems miffed and P.O’d!.

HOMER Why me? I’m the world’s greatest neighbor! I even have a mug to that effect!

MISSION TEXT: TALK TO FLANDERS

Ned's dialogue is different.

FLANDERS

I’m all in a tither, Homer. So many of my possessions have gone missing, I called the police to find the culprit!

FLANDERS

I’m all in a dither, Homer. So many of my possessions have disappeared, I called the police to find the culprit!

There is a cut chase sequence.

HOMER
Now, to return this stuff before the cops find me sitting around talking to myself...
(SIREN NOISE)
WIGGUM
Freeze, hairball! [RR-WIG SELECTION_02]
MISSION TEXT: LOSE WIGGUM THEN GO BACK TO THE FLANDERS HOUSE
Homer must get away from Wiggum then go back to Flanders.

At the beginning of Bonestorm Storm, Marge originally planned read a magazine in the overworld, but was completely cut from the final. Interestingly, the note does say that said event would be depicted as mission art, which was found in the July 3, prototype before being cut again.

MISSION 6: DESTROY THOSE EVIL VIDEO GAMES
Homer runs into Marge and tries to get her to follow Burns.
HOMER
Mr. Burns is spying on everybody! We’ve gotta follow him!
Marge is reading “Worry Wart” magazine. COULD BE DONE AS AN OBJECT IN THE ENVIRONMENT ADJACENT TO CHARACTER (SPECIFIC ART TO THIS MISSION AND THIS MISSION ONLY)

Level 2#

Detention Deficit Disorder had a slightly different starting location. The exchange was also going to be staged a little differently despite having the final dialogue.

MISSION 1: SKIPPIN’ SCHOOL
Bart is skipping school to try to get a copy of Bonestorm II. Skinner shows up trying to chase him down. Bart loses Skinner, evades some cops on the way to the Try and Save, and then must lose Skinner again before stopping at the Try and Save.
IN FRONT OF SOME OTHER LOCATION? BART IS TALKING OUT LOUD TO HIMSELF, NOT FACING MILHOUSE
BART
I gotta get the new Bonestorm or I’ll be as uncool as Milhouse.

The Lose Skinner objective and the exchange with Jimbo at the Try-N-Save were swapped, leading to this line being cut.

JIMBO Look out dude, here comes Skinner!

Bart's taunt to Skinner after losing him was originally a reused laugh from Road Rage.

Oct. 30 2002	Final
BART (LAUGH) [RR-BRT9302]	BART See you later stink-a-gator.

There was another cut objective to lose Skinner, likely cut for being a tad repetitive. The "stink-a-gator" line would be used there.

Bart gets to another Electronics store, only to have Skinner catch up to him.
SKINNER
Bart Simpson! Drive that car back to your fourth grade class at once!
BART
(SCARED) He’s like an unstoppable school-making-me-attend guy!
Bart gets away from Skinner
BART
Smell you later, stink-a-gator!

Weapons of Mass Delinquency was mostly the final, but Snake and Otto's places were swapped in the script.

Vox Nerdulli had a line that was not present in the earlier script.

Oct. 30 2002	Final
COMIC BOOK GUY No time to converse with you -- I must be the first to register my disgust on the internet regarding the new McBain film. The action was dismal! And the nudity was frustratingly fleeting!	COMIC BOOK GUY No time to converse with you -- I must be the first to register my disgust on the internet regarding the new McBain film. The action was dismal! And the nudity was frustratingly fleeting! I could barely get going!

Additionally, the player was originally going to race several Nerds as opposed to one in the final.

MISSION TEXT: RACE TO THE JAVA SERVER BEFORE THE OTHER NERDS

The beginning of Comic Book Guy's conversation lacked an extra part.

Oct. 30 2002	Final
COMIC BOOK GUY Your quest for Bonestorm II is quite futile. Professor Frink posted a message on my newsgroup alt.furryanimals.fanfiction.net that he has bought up all the remaining video games.	COMIC BOOK GUY I'm happy to report that your quest for Bonestorm II is quite futile. Professor Frink posted a message on my newsgroup alt.furryanimals.fanfiction.net that he has bought up all the remaining video games.

Bart 'N Frink originally had a slightly different line.

Oct. 30 2002	Final
PROF. FRINK No can do, my pointy-headed friend! I need the power of video game violence to run my latest invention slash monster… If you find me a World War 2 communication radio and a satellite, then my creation will live and we can play with it!
PROF. FRINK No can do, my pointy-headed friend! I need the power of video game violence to run my latest invention slash monster… If you find me a World War 2 communication radio and a satellite, then my creation will live and we can play with it and enjoy the frolicking!

Bart was going to street race with Snake and other three cars as opposed to just Snake in the final.

MISSION TEXT: RACE SNAKE Street race with Snake and three other cars.

Cletus' line of collecting all of the roadkill happened before arriving at the Krusty Burger. Whether if Apu planned to chase them after collecting the roadkill is unknown.

MISSION TEXT: FIND THE FLATMEAT CLETUS Now we gots to deliver the delicious goods to the buyer. I hope they like stinkdogs! APU appears to chase them. APU Please stop what you are doing. No one can sell rotten meat in this town but me! MISSION TEXT: LOSE APU THEN GET TO THE KRUSTY BURGER

An additional line was added.

Oct. 30 2002	Final
CLETUS Take this satellite dish as a reward. She gets 14 channels, including the Outhouse Channel!
CLETUS Take this satellite dish as a reward. She gets 14 channels, including the Outhouse Channel! Man, I love watching that.

Level 6#

The beginning cutscene of Getting Down With The Clown had Barney mistaken Buzz Cola for "Krazy Kola".

Oct. 30 2002	Final
BARNEY Krusty’s not here, 'Lil Homer. He's down at the Squidport, doin' a promo for this new Krazy Kola.	BARNEY Krusty’s not here, 'Lil Homer. He's down at the Squidport, doin' a promo for this new Buzz Cola.

Duff for Me, Duff For You had a slightly different objective, and had two parts to this mission.

The opening line was different, though the earlier line was highlighted in blue.

Oct. 30 2002	Final
BART Relax, nerdlinger. I’ll smash the truck’s cargo and then get a laser to show Krusty!	BART Relax, nerdlinger. I’ll knock the lasers out of the truck so I can show them to Krusty!

There was a cut objective for Bart to change into Ninja clothes, where that is only available in Level 2. Interestingly, it mentions crates of "Remote-Control Black Sedans" where an unused model for it could be found in the final game's files.

MISSION TEXT: GO TO DUFF BREWERY AND GET A LASER

BART
Before I sneak in there I’d better change into my “extra-curricular” pajamas.
MISSION TEXT: CHANGE INTO NINJA COSTUME
Frink and Bart drive to the Brewery and Bart gets out. He completes an elaborate jumping puzzle and finds a cache of crates marked “Lasers for Humans” and “Remote-Control Black Sedans”. He picks up a laser gun icon.
BART
If I show this laser gun to Krusty, he'll have to believe me!  (REALIZING) I can't believe I have a working laser gun, and I'm using it for good.  I am such a sell out.

MISSION TEXT: DESTROY CRATE

Kang and Kodos Strike Back originally had multiple vehicles (described as black alien vehicles) whereas it was reduced to a single Chase Sedan in the final.

MISSION TEXT: RACE BLACK VANS TO THE BREWERY
Homer and Bart (forced car mission) race black alien vehicles to the duff plant.  They must arrive first or the aliens will have a chance to move everything in the plant.

Cutscenes#

Level 1 Movie 1#

Chief Wiggum and Officer Eddie originally appeared in the scene, but it just foucuses on Mayor Quimby instead.

Cut to a cameraman-style shot of the city hall podium, where the mayor, police chief Wiggum and Eddie the cop stand nervously surveying the crowd. Various citizens shout madly at them.

Homer originally screamed at the Surveillance Van being outside his house, but was removed.

BROCKMAN
In other unexplained news, strange black vans have been appearing all over town. Channel Six has exclusive footage of one such van:
Cut to a black van outside the Simpsons house. We see Homer peer out the window.
HOMER
(PRERECORDED SCREAM)  S-HOMER-211.wav
Cut to Brockman

A cut line for Marge reacting to the robot being devoured by an alligator.

Cut to footage of a robot being eaten by an alligator
ROBOT
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Pull back to see Marge watching this on tv.
MARGE
That poor robot…

Level 2 Movie#

Professor Frink was originally grouped in with the FMV in the script, but was moved to being the very last dialogue line of the mission itself. Whether he was even supposed to be in the FMV is unknown.

PROF. FRINK
Now there is no chance my Truckasaurus will go on a killing rampage, with the screams and the sadness and the hosing of blood off the robot.
ATTN: this line has to be delivered here. There is no Frink FMV model, only a game model.
LEVEL 2 FMV: TRUCKASAURUS UNLEASHED and BART IS ABDUCTED
Bart's car lands from a jump, and skids to a stop in front of the Truckasarus.
~~PROF. FRINK~~
~~Now there is no chance my Truckasaurus will go on a killing rampage, with the screams and the sadness and the hosing of blood off the robot.~~

The face-off with Truckasaurus was slightly different, where he jumps through ramps and vehicles than just drive around the stadium. Whether the UFO abducted Bart from the stadium at that point is unknown.

A brief chase ensues. Bart evades him with a "cool" driving move, such as using a ramp to tilt his car up on two wheels, and squeeking through a stadium gate that's sliding closed.
The Truckasaurus is trapped.
Bart has just jumped over the cola truck (or whatever) to safety. We hear his satisfied laugh from his car.

A cut line for Bart Simpson, additionally, the effect used in the final mission is different (or to an extent, the UFO in Level 7).

Suddenly a loud humming starts overhead and dust starts to swirl around him. A light starts to shine down on the car (Possibly same effect used in final Kang and Kodos mission?). Bart looks up.
BART
Eeep!
The sound turns into a roar and the dust cloud obscures the view. The dust clears and Bart’s car is left behind, now empty.

Level 5 Movie#

The television showing had completely different dialogue as opposed to reusing one of Willie's overworld soundbites.

WILLIE
Stay out of my vegetable garden!
MOE
But I love radishes!
Willie tackles Moe
WILLIE
Eat Scottish fist, monkey-man!
MOE
Not the face! (THEN) Okay, the face!

Willie gets hit by a broom at Springfield Elementary School

WILLIE: Oi ya mocker!

Level 7 Movie#

The Level 7 FMV originally happened after the UFO crashes, showing that the UFO was going to crash in-game.

GRAMPA
(DOPPLER) I smell toast...
The spaceship will then wobble and list erratically and control will be taken away from the player (Brief NIS). The ship will crash and explode and Homer will play a fist-shaking animation.
HOMER
Eat nuclear death you effeminate wriggling spacewads! (THEN, CHUCKLES TO HIMSELF) Heh, heh, imagine that, scared of some harmless nuclear waste... So very harmless...
LEVEL 7/FINAL FMV:
Homer turns and has an extra arm growing out of his back. It scratches his ass. One of his normal hands reaches backs and slaps the third hand.

Kang and Kodos' last moments originally happened off-screen, where it only showed two tentacles from the UFO crash remains. Additionally, the dialogue was slightly different compared to the Jul. 3, 2003 Proto.

We see the burning space ship. The trap door of the ship opens and a single tentacle flops out
KANG (OS)
That fortune teller was right, I do end up dying in a spaceship crash!
Another tentacle flops out of the spaceship.
KODOS (OS)
Kang! I always wanted to say I… I… I… glorp you!
KANG (OS)
And I snarg you... forever. (DEATH NOISES)
Both tentacles fall slack. We should see shots of zombies dissolving in the streets. We should also see Kang and Kodos' mini-cameras recording this scene.

Kang and Kodos exit the spaceship
Kang: That fortune teller was right, I do end up dying in a spaceship crash!
Kodos: Dang, I always wanted to say...I...I...I...I glopped you!
Kang: And I snarfed you...forever!

In the final, the dialogues were replaced with generic, undecipherable audience sounds.

ALIENS
Homer will you marry me! / Sign my tentacle! / I totally was into you before the rest of these guys / Will you listen to my demo tape? / etc.
HOMER
Oh, those fans.

Overworld#

Cut dialogue soundbites for players destroying Wasp Cameras.

BEE CAMERA DIALOG

ROBOT VOICE (LEVEL 1)
Hey! These are expensive! I mean, buzz buzz, buzz.
ROBOT VOICE (LEVEL 2)
Slorp! Not again.
ROBOT VOICE (LEVEL 3)
Ladies and Gentlemen and Smizmars! We are experiencing technical difficulties.
ROBOT VOICE (LEVEL 4)
Why you filthy homemaking scum! Don’t you have a domicile to vacuum?
HALF KODOS/HALF ROBOT VOICE (LEVEL 5)
Camera lead to control.  The primates have taken offense to our insectoid units.  
KODOS (LEVEL 6)
Great flerking schnit! Switch to emergency cams!
KODOS (LEVEL 7)
Not during the finale! Now we’ll have to do another clip show!

The used dialogue when speaking to Apu at the Kwik-E-Mart were originally intended for a scrapped food pick-up system.

Asking for Food

HOMER
I'm looking for something in a breakfast burrito.

HOMER
I need food that’s flavorful, yet supple to the touch.

HOMER
What do you have that is high in both fat AND alcohol content?

HOMER
My blood cholesterol is low-- gimme a recharge!

HOMER
I need a selection of fatty treats please.

HOMER
What do you have that will tantalize my very discerning palette?

HOMER
Whatever food doesn’t kill, me makes me stronger.

Lines also exist for other characters too.

Asking for Food
BART
Need a calorie-hit my good man!
BART
Gimme something with no nutritional value, please!
BART
Gimme a sugar fix, please!
BART
What's today’s special du-jour!
BART
Got a lot of running around to do today. Something sweet and fatty, please!
BART
I need something with no vegetable content, please.

Asking for Food

LISA
Give me nutrition that didn't hurt an animal in any way.

LISA
I'm a little tuckered out, what have you go that'll perk me up?

LISA
I need some healthy snack food please.

LISA
I’m starving and I’m on a mission.  What a time to be vegetarian!

LISA
Please sir, can I have some more?

LISA
I’m so hungry I’ll eat anything – as long as its organic, vegan, and cruelty free.

Asking for Food

MARGE
What do you have that won't put too much meat on my caboose?

MARGE
I'm starvin’ like Marvin!

MARGE
What do you have today?

MARGE
What grub or chow do you have?

MARGE
I need a serious pick-me-up!

MARGE
What's the lowest calorie meal you have?

Asking for Food

APU
Do you have anything made of chick peas?

APU
How odd to eat non-Kwik-E-Mart food.

APU
What do you have that won't immediately kill me.

APU
All right juvenile, serve me a fatty poison of some kind.

APU
Please to be giving me something to eat thank you.

APU
My huge pot belly is empty!