Reality 2.0

This is a sub-page of Sam & Max Save the World.

Unused Dialogue#

Any spelling errors in the subtitles are left as-is. Dialogue in blue is not present in the english.langdb subtitles file and has been transcribed manually.

General#

Dialogue ID	Dialogue	Character	Subtitles
45754624		Sam	I need those.
A would-be response for trying to foist Sam's stack of gold coins on undeserving entities.

Office#

Dialogue ID	Character	Subtitles
43969792	Sam	Looks like Mr. Spatula is putting on some weight.
43969920	Max	That's what happens when you live in a high-fructose corn syrup cooler.
Before Mr. Spatula was vice president, he was just a pudge.
43970560	Sam	I thought you were going to have the presidential seal put on your desk, Max?
43970688	Max	I tried, but he kept discussing trade agreements and then blowing trumpets and begging me for fish.
A longer dialogue for Max's newly-appointed desk.
43970816	Sam	It's the President's desk.
Here's the dialogue that would play after the above desk talk.

Bosco's#

Dialogue ID	Character	Subtitles
43203968	Sam	I bet the cannon doesn't even work.
43204096	Jimmy	What? Just what are youse guys accusing me of?
43204224	Sam	We've got a responsibility. We can't let you go around selling defective merchandise.
43204352	Max	We'd hate to see anybody get hurt. Sorry, Sam, I just can't say that with a straight face.
43204480	Jimmy	Why, I oughta... I'll show you what this baby can do!
43204736	Max	Do it again! Do it again!
Originally, you'd have to talk to Jimmy to get him to fire the cannon. In the final game, you just have to click on the cannon to get him to fire on Sam.
43204864	Sam	We want to see the cannon fire again.
43204992	Jimmy	This ain't play-time, guys. This baby ain't easy to reload.
43205120	Max	Who'd buy a cannon that only fires once?
43205248	Jimmy	Quiet down! You'll scare off payin' customers!
43205376	Jimmy	This beauty can fire as many times as you want. Watch!
43205504	Max	Fair enough!
The second cannon conversation. Thankfully, this was all streamlined in the final game.
43205632	Sam	Max wants you to try the cannon on him this time.
43205760	Jimmy	Okay, but only because I've grown to enjoy it.
43205888	Max	Still not tired of seeing that!
The third (and fourth, and so on) non-canon cannon scene.

Lefty's#

Dialogue ID	Dialogue	Character	Subtitles
44835200		Bob	Back by popular demand: "Useful to Boot"!
While the C.O.P.S. are happy to give an encore of their motivational song, they don't announce it like this.

Streets VR#

Dialogue ID	Character	Subtitles
44931072	Sam	There's got to be a way into that control room!
44931200	Max	Says who?
The only security by the control room is the pop-up-producing jack-in-the-box, which can just be sidestepped. Maybe it was harder to get to in an earlier build?
44200960	Sam	If we pretend we know what you're talking about, will you tell us why there's a +1 on your armor?
44201088	Auntie Biotic	This is Armorani's +1 Plate of Prophylactic Germicide.
These two lines are supposed to go between "You mean you're not familiar with the Armorani Masterworks line?" and "If we pretend we know what you're talking about, will you tell us what the heck you're talking about?".
44614656	Sam	What would you suggest?
44614784	Max	A Shield of Supreme Righteousness would be about perfect. But failing that, anything big enough to protect you from a frying pan.
After Max explains the concept of initiative to Sam, these two lines would play.
44932224	Sam	Seen any good shields around here lately?
44932352	Max	If this was the real world I'd just pick up a trash can lid.
44932480	Max	I'm not sure what skanky junk passes for a shield in this loopy virtual world.
The further adventures of shield talk. A lot of the cut lines in this area mention shields, actually. Maybe the developers thought that players would search in vain for an actual shield or shield-like object instead of the intended item, the jack-in-the-box.
45813632	Hugh	It is said that he who wishes to be a great warrior must possess the fabled +2 sword and an impenetrable shield. And he's got to look good in TIGHTS.
45813760	Max	Well, we've got that covered.
After Sam asks how to kill monsters, The Internet Wizard would hint at the existence of the +2 Sword and the Jack-in-the-box, but since he mentioned shields, the dialogue had to be rewritten. Strangely, even though the subtitles for these two lines were deleted, the conversations that would have followed have their subtitles intact!
45807744	Sam	Where can we pick up this "+2 Sword," whatever that means?
45807872	Hugh	It is a QUEST! One cannot simply walk up to the +2 Sword and take it! giggle
45808000	Max	Why not? That guy Arthur Whats-his-name did.
45808128	Hugh	Uh, Excalibur was only +1!
45808256	Sam	Yes, but where exactly do you find a +2 Sword? Can you get them at the market?
45808384	Hugh	Oh no! No no no! No no no no no no no no! No!
45808512	Max	What are you trying to say?
After The Internet Wizard mentioned the sword and shield, two new dialogue options would open up. The first is, "Where can I get the +2 Sword?"
45808640	Sam	Please tell me where I can pick up a +2 Sword?
45808768	Hugh	If I told you, it would spoil the fun! And I hate spoiled fun. Don't you? Ooh!
Asking about the +2 sword again. Not much help, is he?
45810304	Sam	Where can I get an impenetrable shield?
45810432	Hugh	Unfortunately...we're all out of shields.
45810560	Max	What? You're all out? In all of Reality 2.0, not one shield to be had?
45810688	Hugh	Not as such, no.
45810816	Max	So we're dead.
45810944	Hugh	Pretty much!
According to the corresponding chore filename, the dialogue selection for this is, "Where can I get an impenetrable shield?" This Internet Wizard isn't very helpful at all!
45811072	Sam	Riddle me this, wizard head: How can we survive a battle without a shield?
45811200	Hugh	A wise man once said, "Make do." And that wise man was me! Just now! Ooh!
Here's the last scene speaking of the dreaded s-word.
45798528	Hugh	Blackness, blackness all around.
This is supposed to play after asking "Can you see our future?" a third time, but the second conversation plays instead.

Lefty's VR#

Dialogue ID	Character	Subtitles
45040768	Sam	You look pretty goofy like that.
45040896	Max	They say flat is slimming.
Just a short back-and-forth after Sam gives Curt the computer bug.
45349376	Sam	Hey, uh, "guys".
Should play after entering Lefty's VR a second time, but Sam just barges in without saying a word. What a rude dude.
45374720	Sam	Destroying a computer might be fun and educational, but it won't really help us stop the entire Internet.
Most likely meant to play after using one of the two swords on any control computer. The generic sword use lines play instead.

Office VR#

Dialogue ID	Dialogue	Character	Subtitles
45279616		Jimmy	Beat it! I mean, uh, just leave me alone!
Poor Jimmy should say this instead of just "Beat it!" after Sam & Max's miniscule mugging.

Bosco's VR#

Dialogue ID	Character	Subtitles
45969664	Max	IRONically containing no iron whatsoever!
With Max's line cut, all you'll hear after clicking on the Iron Rations is "Iron Rations." It's accurate, but it's not really a joke.
45944704	Sam	Cranberry Potion.
45946368	Sam	Potion Delight.
45952640	Sam	Diet Potion.
Three potion names that got cut, probably because they're not very funny.
45920000	Sam	There are no bathrooms in videogames!
45920128	Max	Then where did I just...? Uh oh!
Well, there are bathrooms in this game, but the one in Bosco's VR was removed.

Driving VR#

Dialogue ID	Character	Subtitles
43099904	Sam	It's not letting us through.
43100032	Max	I feel so unappreciated.
Should play after getting rejected by the checksum verification device the first time. The more useful conversation on what "Checksum invalid" actually means plays instead.

Bank VR#

Dialogue ID	Character	Subtitles
43243008	Sam	Hey, we can fool with the books and change the internal organizational structure!
43243136	Max	Goody! I always like restructuring internal organs.
Meant to play after clicking on the "Cook the Banks!" button the first time.

Reality 1.5#

Dialogue ID	Dialogue	Character	Subtitles
43440640	N/A	Parser	You are standing in Sybil's shop. This place is full of junk.
43439360		Max	I call dibs!
43439488		Sam	On what?
43439616		Max	All of it!
This might have been the original Sybil's shop intro text, before it was replaced with the much longer description with the kittens and the lake and the treasures and such.
43422592	N/A	Parser	Couldn't you please just pick a legitimate direction?
43422720		Max	Hey! You callin' my directions illegitimate? [snickers]
There are nine different joke "Go ____" texts in the game, but only three are used in the final game. The unused ones no longer have labels, so the actual jokes for some of these are unclear. This could be "Go straight" or "Go legit".
43426176	N/A	Parser	You are very much trying my patience. I suppose you'll want to do the hokey pokey next.
43426304		Max	OOH! I love the hokey pokey!
This might be "Go-go dance", but it's not really clear.
43419776	N/A	Parser	Go lightly where?
43419904		Max	Uhm...through the tulips?
Some of them are more obvious than others.
43420672	N/A	Parser	You are already outside.
43420800		Sam	Not outside the game, we're not.
This is another obvious one.
43430272	N/A	Parser	The Corporate Presence has eaten all the ice cream shops and combined them in its stomach into one big ball of ice cream conglomerate.
43430400		Sam	That doesn't sound overly appetizing.
43430528		Max	All my best friends are conglomerates!
"Go for ice cream" or "Go get ice cream".
43431552	N/A	Parser	I'll bet you don't even know what that means!
43431680		Max	I think he made it up.
43431808		Sam	No I didn't. It has something to do with crocodiles and wandering chefs who sing so badly that your ears bleed and you drop your valuables, at which point the greedy culinary experts scoop them up and make like a frightened cephlapod. I think.
43431936		Max	Works for me!
Now this is a complete mystery. What the hell is Sam talking about?
43327104	N/A	Parser	The Shambling Corporate Presence looks a little bit less hulking and terrifying. It could easily perk back up any moment, though.
43327232		Max	Ooh, let's kick it when it's down!
43327360		Sam	I think we'd be better off just getting out of here before it gets its strength back. There's nothing worse than an angry Corporate Presence.
43327488		Max	Well, ok.
The check for this text is probably bugged. This is what should appear on screen after feeding the Corporate Presence the Nauseating Bosco's and choosing "Look Corporate Presence", but the default look text is used instead.