This is a sub-page of Nord and Bert Couldn't Make Head or Tail of It.
The game's verb files contain a lot of commented-out ones, most of which have a funny response to you trying them.
;"subtitle game commands"
<GLOBAL VERBOSITY 1> ;"0 = super-brief, 1 = brief, 2 = verbose"
;<CONSTANT D-RECORD-ON 4>
;<CONSTANT D-RECORD-OFF -4>
;<ROUTINE V-$COMMAND ()
<DIRIN 1>
<RTRUE>>
;<ROUTINE V-$RANDOM ()
<COND (<NOT <PRSO? ,INTNUM>>
<TELL "ILLEGAL." CR>)
(T
<RANDOM <- 0 ,P-NUMBER>>
<RTRUE>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-$RECORD ()
<DIROUT ,D-RECORD-ON> ;"all READS and INPUTS get sent to command file"
<RTRUE>>
;<ROUTINE V-$UNRECORD ()
<DIROUT ,D-RECORD-OFF>
<RTRUE>>
;<GLOBAL DEBUG <>>
;<ROUTINE V-$DEBUG ()
<TELL "O">
<COND (,DEBUG
<SETG DEBUG <>>
<TELL "ff">)
(T
<SETG DEBUG T>
<TELL "n">)>
<TELL ,PERIOD>>
;<ROUTINE V-ANSWER ()
<COND (<AND ,AWAITING-REPLY
<YES-WORD <GET ,P-LEXV ,P-CONT>>>
<V-YES>
<STOP>)
(<AND ,AWAITING-REPLY
<NO-WORD <GET ,P-LEXV ,P-CONT>>>
<V-NO>
<STOP>)
(T
<TELL "Nobody is awaiting your answer." CR>
<STOP>)>>
;<ROUTINE ORPHAN-VERB ()
<COND (<NOT <EQUAL? ,HERE ,AUDIENCE-CHAMBER ,BEDROOM>>
<SETG AWAITING-FAKE-ORPHAN <>>
<RFALSE>)>
<PUT ,P-VTBL 0 ,W?ZZMGCK>
<PUT ,P-OVTBL 0 ,W?ANSWER> ;"maybe fix 'what do you want to'"
<PUT ,P-OTBL ,P-VERB ,ACT?ZZMGCK>
<PUT ,P-OTBL ,P-VERBN ,P-VTBL>
<PUT ,P-OTBL ,P-PREP1 0>
<PUT ,P-OTBL ,P-PREP1N 0>
<PUT ,P-OTBL ,P-PREP2 0>
<PUT ,P-OTBL 5 0>
<PUT ,P-OTBL ,P-NC1 1>
<PUT ,P-OTBL ,P-NC1L 0>
<PUT ,P-OTBL ,P-NC2 0>
<PUT ,P-OTBL ,P-NC2L 0>
<SETG P-OFLAG T>>
;<ROUTINE PRE-SPEAK ()
<COND (,GONE-APE
<TELL
"You open " 'MOUTH " to speak, but all that comes out are a few grunts." CR>
<STOP>)
(<FSET? ,EARS ,MUNGBIT>
<TELL ,YOU-CANT "carry on a conversation when " 'EARS " are">
<COND (<EQUAL? ,EARS ,HAND-COVER>
<TELL " covered">)
(T
<TELL " plugged up">)>
<TELL ,PERIOD>
<STOP>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-BARTER-WITH ()
<COND (<FSET? ,PRSO ,ACTORBIT>
<TELL "But" T ,PRSO " has nothing worth trading for." CR>)
(T
<IMPOSSIBLES>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-BARTER-FOR ()
<IMPOSSIBLES>>
;<ROUTINE V-BOARD-DIR ()
<RECOGNIZE>>
;<ROUTINE V-CLICK ()
<TELL "\"Click.\"" CR>>
;<ROUTINE V-DINE-ON ()
<PERFORM ,V?EAT ,PRSO>
<RTRUE>>
;<ROUTINE V-DRESS ()
<COND (,PRSO
<COND (<FSET? ,PRSO ,ACTORBIT>
<COND (<FSET? ,PRSO ,FEMALEBIT>
<TELL "Sh">)
(T
<TELL "H">)>
<TELL "e is dressed!" CR>)
(T
<IMPOSSIBLES>)>)
(T
<SETG PRSO ,ROOMS>
<V-GET-DRESSED>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-FLUSH ()
<TELL "It's your brain that needs flushing." CR>>
;<ROUTINE V-INHALE ()
<COND (<NOT ,PRSO>
<TELL ,OK>)
(<PRSO? ,ROOMS>
<TELL "You begin to get light-headed." CR>)
(T
<RECOGNIZE>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-KNEEL ()
<COND (<EQUAL? ,P-PRSA-WORD ,W?BOW>
<SORE "waist">)
(<NOT <PRE-POUR>>
<SORE "knee">)>>
;<ROUTINE V-LAND ()
<COND (<AND <NOT ,PRSO>
<EQUAL? <LOC ,PROTAGONIST> ,RAFT ,BARGE>>
<PERFORM-PRSA <LOC ,PROTAGONIST>>
<RTRUE>)
(T
<TELL ,HUH>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-LICK ()
<COND (<FSET? ,PRSO ,ACTORBIT>
<PERFORM ,V?EAT ,PRSO>
<RTRUE>)
(T
<PERFORM ,V?TASTE ,PRSO>
<RTRUE>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-LIMBER ()
<TELL "Ahhh. Nothing like a little muscle-loosening." CR>>
;<ROUTINE PRE-LISTEN ()
<COND (<AND <FSET? ,EARS ,MUNGBIT>
<NOT ,GONE-APE>>
<TELL "You hear the sound of ">
<COND (<EQUAL? ,EARS ,HAND-COVER>
<TELL "sweating palms">)
(T
<TELL "rustling cotton">)>
<TELL ,PERIOD>)>>
;<ROUTINE PRE-LOOK ()
<COND (<PLAYER-CANT-SEE>
<RTRUE>)>>
;<ROUTINE UNIFORMLY-COLORED (ROOM-NAME STRING)
<TELL .ROOM-NAME " Room|
This location is dim and uniformly colored, resembling what you see
when you have your " .STRING ". In fact, you have your "
.STRING ,PERIOD>>
;<ROUTINE V-LOVE ()
<TELL "Not difficult, considering how lovable" T ,PRSO " ">
<COND (<FSET? ,PRSO ,PLURALBIT>
<TELL "are">)
(T
<TELL "is">)>
<TELL ,PERIOD>>
;<ROUTINE V-MAKE-LOVE ()
<COND (<PRSO? ,LOVE>
<PERFORM ,V?FUCK ,PRSI>
<RTRUE>)
(T
<RECOGNIZE>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-MAKE-OUT ("AUX" KISSEE)
<COND (<NOT <PRSO? ,ROOMS>>
<SET KISSEE ,PRSO>)
(<NOT <SET KISSEE <FIND-IN ,HERE ,ACTORBIT "with">>>
<SET KISSEE ,ME>)>
<PERFORM ,V?KISS .KISSEE>
<RTRUE>>
;<ROUTINE V-MARRY ()
<TELL "I doubt that" T ,PRSO " is the marrying type." CR>>
;<ROUTINE V-MASTURBATE ()
<COND (<AND ,PRSO ;"for JERK OFF OBJECT (FIND RLANDBIT)"
<NOT <PRSO? ,ROOMS>>>
<RECOGNIZE>)
(<EQUAL? ,NAUGHTY-LEVEL 0>
<SETG AWAITING-REPLY 2>
<QUEUE I-REPLY 2>
<TELL "Don't you know that this causes blindness?" CR>)
(T
<PERFORM ,V?FUCK ,ME>
<RTRUE>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-MEASURE ()
<COND (<OR <FSET? ,PRSO ,PARTBIT>
<PRSO? ,ME>>
<TELL "Usual size." CR>)
(T
<TELL "The same size as any other " D ,PRSO ,PERIOD>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-MOAN ()
<TELL "\"Ohhhh...\"" CR>>
;<ROUTINE V-PHONE ()
<COND (<EQUAL? ,HERE ,VIZICOMM-BOOTH>
<V-CALL>)
(T
<TELL ,YOU-CANT-SEE-ANY "phone here!" CR>)>>
;<ROUTINE RETURN-TRUE>
;<ROUTINE V-RAPE ()
<TELL "Unacceptably ungallant behavior." CR>>
;<ROUTINE V-RELIEVE ()
<TELL ,HUH>>
;<ROUTINE V-RIP ()
<COND (<PRSO? ,SCRAP-OF-PAPER ,CODED-MESSAGE ,MATCHBOOK ,MAP>
<WASTES>)
(T
<TELL "Unrippable." CR>)>>
<ROUTINE V-SSET () ;"make obj out of obj"
<PERFORM ,V?SET ,PRSI ,PRSO>
<RTRUE>>
;<ROUTINE PRE-SMELL ()
<COND (<AND <FSET? ,NOSE ,MUNGBIT>
<NOT ,GONE-APE>>
<TELL ,YOU-CANT "smell a thing with " 'NOSE " blocked." CR>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-SUCKLE ()
<IMPOSSIBLES>>
;<ROUTINE V-SWHIP ()
<PERFORM ,V?WHIP ,PRSI ,PRSO>
<RTRUE>>
;<ROUTINE V-USE-QUOTES ()
<COND (<IN? ,HAREM-GUARD ,HERE>
<PICK-WIFE ,PRSO>)
(T
<SEE-MANUAL "say something \"out loud.\"">)>>
;<ROUTINE V-VOMIT ()
<COND (<AND <IN? ,PIZZA ,HERE>
<FSET? ,PIZZA ,TOUCHBIT>>
<TELL "Just keep trying to eat that " D ,PIZZA ,PERIOD>)
(T
<TELL
"You stick a finger down your throat, but to no avail." CR>)>>
;<ROUTINE V-WHATS-GOOD ()
<TELL "Yes, true." CR>>